Cyclists aren't pedestrians. And bicycles are for transportation just like automobiles. Where the fuck do you have to go that's so important you need to speed around in a gas-guzzling behemoth?

The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.

Bicyclist Wants To Be Treated Like A Car But Also Be Able To Just Kinda Break The Rules When He Wants To

Aug 25, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

CHICAGO, IL — In a statement delivered to a line of 100 drivers who had been stuck behind him for the past 3 hours, local bicyclist JORR said that he wants to be treated just like a car on the road, but also to just kinda be able to break the rules whenever he wants to.

"I'm an important bicyclist deserving your respect, and should be granted all the rights and privileges of a car at all times!" said JORR to the parade of honking automobiles behind him. "But also, I don't carry insurance for when I cause an accident and would like to disregard traffic lights and signs whenever I want. It is my divine right! NOW STARE AT MY SPANDEXED BUTT FOR THE NEXT 30 MILES AND LIKE IT!"

Sources say JORR then ran three traffic lights and then started a fight with a biological woman parked in the oh so precious bike lane.

I don't know you personally but I would bet a million dollars to win ten bucks that you break more traffic laws every time you get behind the wheel than a typical cyclist.

[Fields will] be the starting QB on an NFL roster at the start of next season. Book It!

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

Because you are stupid, maybe read some books educate yourself.

We walk, talk, and won't shit our pants

The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.

Biking is for fitness queers who shave their ball sacks. Driving is for bad dudes who get their dicks wet (by going balls deep in pussy).

What is the boards’ position on lower level grooming?

The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.

Would you like to pay me in installments? If you would have said 'most' instead of 'every', you'd win.

All the beefs stem from the one beef. If the one beef wasn't a thing, there'd be no other beefs. The stolen lanes on major thoroughfares. If you want to recreate, put your bike on the bike holder of your car and take it to the bike rec area.

Ask Joe Biden

Biden is doing a GOOD job.

More bicyclists inconvenience drivers than drivers mow down bicycle riders.

I’m all for bike riders breaking as many laws as possible provided they do so in the spirit of being less annoying for cars.

Guaranteed the motherfucker was parked in the bike lane.

:shock: Bikes are for fags.

…someone is in a giant SUV driving his overweight child to school instead of letting him walk …

Because you are stupid, maybe read some books educate yourself.

We walk, talk, and won't shit our pants

Joe loves to sniff hair, so we know his stance. I was asking for your thoughts given your vast experience with male pubics.

The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.

The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.

You seem to be confusing bikes with rollerblades.

Biden is doing a GOOD job.

You seem to be confusing bikes with rollerblades.

Biden is doing a GOOD job.

Why are you curious about dude pubes? Are you a gay?

I believe you brought up guys shaving their balls. I just want to know if we should be grooming below the belt.

The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.

The only thing that would make this more epic would be sharing a plate of bacon with Chuck Norris. Except you wouldn’t be sharing a plate of bacon with Chuck Norris because he’s not the type of man to share. It would be a knife fight and you would lose because you willingly entered into a knife fight over bacon with Chuck Norris

Because you are stupid, maybe read some books educate yourself.

We walk, talk, and won't shit our pants

I don’t like your tone.

The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.

The crisis consists precisely in the fact that the old is dying and the new cannot be born; in this interregnum a great variety of morbid symptoms appear.

What is the verdict on motorized scooters?

The crisis consists precisely in the fact that the old is dying and the new cannot be born; in this interregnum a great variety of morbid symptoms appear.

They're an annoyance to both cyclists and automobile drivers.

The e-bike is one of the worst inventions ever. They're allowed in bike lanes and on bike paths but they have blurred the distinction between such lanes/paths and actual roads. So now I'll be riding through the woods on a bike path and occasionally some Evel Knievel motherfucker on a Harley will come whipping past me.

And maybe if you actually pedaled you wouldn't weigh 300 pounds. But hey, just ride your fucking e-bike and grab another bag of fudge rounds.