Why does this douche begin all of his calls by asking, "Gentlemen, how's the empire?"

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It's always wise to have a catchphrase.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

I don't even know what Empire he's referencing.

British? Ottoman? Carpeting?

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Middays

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He's not as bad as that major douche Frank from Oak Park or whatever who thinks he is the William Shakespeare of sportsradio callers.

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We Now Know That JOE BIDEN has been COMPROMISED by CHINA! (let that sink in)

Election 2020-The Largest Fraud in the History of Mankind.

*If you believe that Biden won, you also believe that Epstein killed himself*

Bill in Capitol Hill is the new Kenny Owens

I think Bill in Capitol Hill has actually been seen at some point though - yes?

+2 for the reference though .... heyyyyyyyyyyyy.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Always thought most of the emails/texts that Bernstein read during Who You Crappin' were from imaginary sycophants, Kenny Owens like creations to help move the bit in directions he was comfortable.

I always thought he was doing a bit on the old Schoolhouse Rock thing.

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"When people want their version of the truth, they go find it, no matter how baseless their beliefs." -- Ken Rosenthal

Yeah, got his angle, but it does seem that many shows have had their own Kenny Owens types, pretty easy to create a sympathetic viewpoint when all the interaction is through text/email and is why the station is such a painful listen at times. Of course none of them were able to take it to the Jimmy Shorts level, but Kev was way more talented than any of the past/current/future score hosts.

Oh I can buy that idea, sure. I also think it might've been to bulk-up the segment as it got towards the end of its run.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

I just turned it on and Bernstein was saying "Kobe evolved." Was he playing the Homer "gaaaay" sound byte too?

Adding to his delightful charm, he has that pseudo-thoughtful, smarmy habit of ending many of his sentences with "right?". McDoink does it a lot, too. Man, do I hate that, almost as much as beginning sentences with "so".

Ramona shelburne is the absolute worst at that.