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| dan berstein like jokes http://chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=77585 |
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| Author: | IkeSouth [ Fri Mar 08, 2013 5:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | dan berstein like jokes |
ok so this jewish guy goes to his dad and asks "can i borrow $50?" his dad replies "$40? what do you need $30 for?" |
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| Author: | sinicalypse [ Sat Mar 09, 2013 1:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: dan berstein like jokes |
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| Author: | newper [ Sat Mar 09, 2013 2:05 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: dan berstein like jokes |
There was a Rabbi whose wife was expecting a baby. The Rabbi went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that when the Rabbi's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After five or six children, this started to get expensive. The congregation decided to hold a meeting again to discuss the Rabbi's pay situation. You can imagine there was much yelling and bickering. Finally, the Rabbi got up and spoke to the crowd. "Having children is an act of God!" In the back of the room, a little old man with a full beard stood up and in his frail voice said... "Point of information - snow and rain are also 'acts of God', but when we get too much we wear rubbers!" =================================================== Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I 'd like to ride in that helicopter". Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars -- and fifty dollars is fifty dollars". One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance." Esther replied, "Morris that helicopter is fifty dollars -- and fifty dollars is fifty dollars". The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's fifty dollars." Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!" Morris replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know -- fifty dollars is fifty dollars." ============================================ A Hasidic Jew walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The Hasidic Jew replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?" |
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| Author: | good dolphin [ Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: dan berstein like jokes |
Ah-ha! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKsSvR5u-qk |
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| Author: | bigfan [ Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: dan berstein like jokes |
good dolphin wrote: Eddie Murphys last funny moment! |
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| Author: | good dolphin [ Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: dan berstein like jokes |
He was brilliant in that movie and I think it is really underrated. You do get a glimpse of the preening guy that Murphy is about to become when you see him acting like the prince. Party All The Time was the end for Eddie. |
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| Author: | bigfan [ Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: dan berstein like jokes |
for everyone that didnt know (or forgot, like me) eddie did a music video, "PARTY ALL THE TIME" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDbpzjbXUZI |
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| Author: | good dolphin [ Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: dan berstein like jokes |
bigfan wrote: for everyone that didnt know (or forgot, like me) eddie did a music video, "PARTY ALL THE TIME" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDbpzjbXUZI look at everything he has done since then and Eddie tries to sing in it...fucker squeezes a song into kids movies It was kind of cool when Eddie wore the entirely leather suits for Raw and his other comedy show movie. Then you hear about the big foot tranny prostitute and its my lifetime equivalent of when my grandparents heard Liberace was light in the loafers |
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