I don't really listen to this show that much, but this thread has convinced me that Brian Hanley is a comic genius.

How's that workin' out for him?

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Don't take it personally.

That's part of his "heads I win, tails you lose" listener-punishing strategy: he irritates you by nearly constantly yelling, and when he doesn't yell, he says something idiotic.

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You can't see me because of internet.

The landowner effectively owns part shares in millions of part-time slaves called, "taxpayers." -Roy L
A Personal Relationship with Jesus?

He says a lot of idiotic things when he yells too.

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Another annoying thing that Mulligan does is cuts off his callers to continue adding onto already unfunny jokes. Case in point, from this morning:

Caller: Good morning guys. Hey, I just wanted...

Mully: [continues with unfunny premise]

Laughter follwed by awkward pause

Caller: [trying to be polite] That's awesome. Anyway guys, I just...

Mully: [another unfunny joke add-on]

Laughter follwed by awkward pause


He did this three times in succession. Mully, shut the fuck up and let the guy make his point.

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

Hanley: Knox had a fever of 106...can you get that high without dying?
Mully: You can get to 106, I've had 106 before...
Hanley: I got to 105.9, but only when I'm simulcasting

(then instead of leaving that turd out there to die, Mully explains the 'joke')

talking with ZZ, he mentions that Jeff George is sitting somewhere practicing waiting for a phone call

ZZ: I think he was 53 when he was here
Hanley: that was his age, not his jersey number

That gets 4 out of 5 Hanley's. He had that one all worked out in the pre show meeting. And Mully went along.

3 and a half Hanley's. That one was probably off the cuff. The Hanley part is where a QB wears number 53. Sooooo Hanley

well the most ridiculous part of it was that ZZ made the joke, it wasn't really much of a joke to begin with ....yet Hanley felt the need to explain it like no one would get it

They know their listeners.

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Don't take it personally.

Holy crap, the Hanley Rating system is the most brilliant thing I have ever seen. LITERALLY the most brilliant thing. I am peeing my pants right now. Awesome!

All hyperbole aside, that really made me laugh out loud. Nice work.

How is this one graded:

Brian Handjob 11.22.11 whilst talking to Corey Graham on the air:
"Yah, God love Tyler Klutz....but when the Bears went for that fake punt I thought they were Nutz, Not Klutz"

I'll sit down and wait for the Rating.

Agreed. That sort of thing is POD material...

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This is my signature...

If I knew who or where POD ballots were cast, this awesome new rating system would surely score "this guy right here" the POD trophy.

I can't stop laughing.

2.5 Hanleys. Really shocked he avoided the "Klutz is no Clutz" joke...

Ill bet he said it at some point

That stupid bag of shit Mully was talking about the BCS today, and he was saying that the SEC "occupied the the top of the BCS" when his bacon-grease-marbled brain decided it saw a joke and broke in with "that's a bad word now." He couldn't think of anything funny to say, but he did recognize the word "occupy" has a special social connotation right now; being the humor grim-reaper he is, all he could think to say was that the word was "bad." He went with it anyways.

Edit: can Mully be awarded Hanleys? And is there a Mully rating system for yelling?

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You can't see me because of internet.

The landowner effectively owns part shares in millions of part-time slaves called, "taxpayers." -Roy L
A Personal Relationship with Jesus?

So wait a second....zero or one out of 5 Hanley's actually would make something funny?

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A Single Hanley
A stupid comment. A reference to something that has nothing to do with the subject that makes you roll your eyes. Actually it could have been a decent joke in hands other than Hanley's

You are considering turning off the radio at this point, but it wasnt bad enough....yet.





2 Hanleys= Wow that was bad. I mean bad for sports radio even. If someone in your office made this joke, you would avoid them at future work gatherings. You'd tell some people with a functioning sense of humor about it and laugh at how Hanley this poor fool is.





3 Hanleys= The vendetta comment. A stupid ridiculouosly strained comparison to an owner/manager/player in Chicago that Hanley doesnt like. Not only is it not funny and a straight Hanleyism...now you're wondering if he has intent on hurting these people as the way he brings them up would inicate.

Now you are wondering why you listen to sports radio in the first place. What a strange medium. How did you even get into this habit?





4 Hanleys
This is a Knockout punch. Youre sitting there eating your breakfast or getting ready for work and Hanley drops one so bad you cut yourself shaving and/or spill your coffee.

Hanley has now affected your life. You are done with sports radio. You are considering being done with radio in general.




A complete and utter Hanleyism. Unfunny, not clever, the easiest possible joke that a 10 yr old would find "beneath him" Its a combination of all the worst things about Hanley. Bad reference, weird vendetta, poor timing, and god awful delivery.

Richard Pryor lights himself on fire inside his grave when Hanley tells a 5 Hanley joke.


You throw your radio out....the window.

You are so disgusted with media in general, you are considering an amish lifestyle....and it doesnt seem that bad.

They were talking about the daughter of the Giant's owner...I guess she has appeared in a few movies. One of those was "friends with benefits"

Hanley goes, "What is that, the sequel to the TV show friends"

Not even Mully offered up a fake laugh. I believe this should be considered for the first ever 5 Hanley.

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I believe that would be Kate Mara. I definitely would....

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Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami

She's on American Horror Story too.
If you ever want a lesson on how too much makeup makes pretty girls look less pretty check her out on that show.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Realized today another horrible part of the show.

Their awful humour acts as a magnet and actually attracts other alleged humour to it, making a giant black hole where all funny ceases to exist.

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(not) hysterical mashup of Jon Daly singing karaoke with clips of his ex-wife talking about tour whores along with Deion Sanders asking Tony Romo if anyone on the coaching staff gets in his butt. That's not the butt, says Hanley, as Jon sings about someone knocking on heaven's door.

They get paid for this? LOL I tried defending these guys, but as I've listened more I now see what all of the haters hate.

You guys are far and away too hard on this show!

They talk Bears football sometimes and other stuff!

This is the best show on air right.damn.now.

If hell has sports talk radio, this show is certainly what it's broadcasting.

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You can't see me because of internet.

The landowner effectively owns part shares in millions of part-time slaves called, "taxpayers." -Roy L
A Personal Relationship with Jesus?