Anyone else hearing rumors regarding why he is actually out?

Yeah, someone said he crashed a snowmobile, but given the way the organization made him prostrate himself before the assembled beat writers for getting drunk and falling down the stairs, I can't imagine how they would make him atone for crashing a snowmobile.

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That's relatively tame compared to what I heard.

I heard he was a fan of Eric Clapton.

You'll have to be more specific: are you talking about cocaine, fucking someone else's wife, or falling out a window?

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All three. It's the Kaner trifecta.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

yayo in the NHL!? . It's the league that Bob Probert wasn't allowed to travel to games in Canada (and this is back when Kanaydia still had all of its teeth, i mean teams, iirc) due to a cocaine smuggling bust. And Stu Grimson used to literally cry while pounding the shit out of other players, he was so geeked up. Maybe they've cleaned up the league since then.

anthony jeselnik makes a clapton dead-baby joke on his NetFlix "Thoughts & Prayers" special; which given the lack of timeliness jeselnik had to go back and explain why the joke was funny---by explaining how clapton had a kid who fell out a hotel window; and then, in a move Mayor Rahm would approve of, Clapton wrote his most popular/lucrative song ever based on the tragic, accidental death of his clumsy kid.

It was much more timely joke when my band, Severed Scrotum, released its hit song "Eric Clapton Pushed His Kid" back in 1991.

Some poignant lyrics included...

Daddy got mad and he pushed you out a window, you made your dad rich you flat some of a bitch

Wrote a hit song, is that so wrong
I'd do it to to be as rich as you

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doo-dah, doo-dah,

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Not quite, more like...


Would you look the same if I saw you in heaven
Probably not, now you look like bloody snot

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It sure sounds like Crawford is going to be out long enough that they won't be able to make up enough ground for the playoffs. So they need to start trading whatever pieces other than Kane, the young defensemen, and maybe Saad that have any kind of value at all.

And if Crawford's injury was extracurricular, again, I'd assume he'll be traded in the offseason. That one will be on Stan, because he could have re-signed Darling instead and traded Crawford last off season.

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"When people want their version of the truth, they go find it, no matter how baseless their beliefs." -- Ken Rosenthal

Did you accidentally ingest chas' meth?

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Not a mult.

More like Kaner Hat-Trick

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An unjust law is no law at all--St. Augustine of Hippo

Cause tried and true
I see the light in you
Oh, can you dig in my soul?
Could you smell my whole...
life?--Gener and Deaner

Darling is backing up Cam Ward, as everyone they try to replace Cam Ward with always does, with something like an .890 save percentage.

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I would like some evidence.

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Elections have consequences.

Of what, Darling's save percentage? https://www.hockey-reference.com/player ... isc01.html He's at .893

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I think Mike was referring to the Crow injury.

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Not a mult.

Oh, well, yeah, I think we'd all like to know what's up.

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Yep.

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Elections have consequences.

The lack of noise from anyone in the organization and the lack of a timetable really just feeds the speculation.

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

I've heard everything from snowmobile to being in rehab. I don't really want to feed any unsubstantiated rumors, but the silence of the Hawks kind of adds fuel to that fire.

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

They keep on saying upper body. If he actually is in rehab, aren't they breaking league rules?

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"When people want their version of the truth, they go find it, no matter how baseless their beliefs." -- Ken Rosenthal

The brain is above the waist. This ain't the NBA.

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One thing that makes me think it's probably just a mundane injury though is the fact Dan Bernstein hasn't run with rampant unsubstantiated speculation. He would never pass on a chance to shit on the Hawks or Crawford.

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

Still no update on Crow. I have to say, the lack of word in any regards really makes me think the rehab rumor carries some weight

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

John Dietz
@johndietzdh
4m4 minutes ago
"It's been quiet right now."
Joel Quenneville on how much he's communicated with the injured Corey Crawford of late.

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

How fucked up could he have gotten that he had to check into rehab in the middle of the season?

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If he had a "regular" injury, wouldn't he be rehabbing at the team's facilities? The one exception might be a bad concussion.

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"When people want their version of the truth, they go find it, no matter how baseless their beliefs." -- Ken Rosenthal

This is partially Q's fault. He needed to explain what he meant to Crow when he told the team to run lines at practice.

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

Bernstein just addressed this so...

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“How do you get to be president and you’re stupid?” Donald J Trump - 4/10/25
When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn't become a king. The palace turns into a circus. - Turkish Proverb