....wait what? you had a "recording career" ???
i don't mean any disrespect, but i could swear that you were on the same level as me (writing/recording/viral-distributing "homemade" songs) just way further down that path.... but like, a "recording career" tends to indicate that one's had a "career" of producing "recordings" and then formally selling them and all.... and like, to the best of my knowledge you don't have any sort of a CD available @ gramaphone or a split-12" that someone could paypal from an online record company.... so am i missing something here in that you've got an album out there that i can check out / support, or perhaps did you just use a bit of a more grandiose terminology to describe your hiatus from presiding over the marriage of words and beats?
idk what your IRL situation is 100% (cuz i'm pretty sure you just described it to me as some sort of a malaise borne of a veritable existential crisis which spawned from not really getting "anywhere" with your efforts, ultimately resulting in the timeless question "who the fuck am i kidding with this?") and i tried to break you off "some real" with that longass PM reply to your initial declaration of hiatus-status... and like, while i spose it was indeed a bit much coming from someone you don't know outside of a few menial bbs interactions, i'm pretty sure i tried to address the situation head on.
moreso than you, i'm someone who at present has no business grabbing a microphone and telling you about how awesome i am. moreover, i'm an annoying piece of shit who leaves a veritable-delorean-trail of flaming shit wherever i go.... and yet, deep down inside of me somewhere exists the indefatigable fire-n-pashin to say "man fuck this fuck you in fact fuck all y'all someday somehow i'm going to kick all of your fucking asses, got that?!?!"
and we can say rap is this, rap is that... we can talk about semantics and ideal usage of the artform/medium, but in the end, something like 50-66% of all rap is basically people saying "i'm the shit and you need to know this" --- therefore, i'm left believing that you're currently in some sort of a mental cycle where your "i'm the shit and you need to know this" rap-core is plagued by a lack of the word "the" and the addition of the word "don't" --- obviously, you're not up for any sort of cerebral motivation cuz i spent a good ~20-30 minutes writing you that giant PM tryin to tell you to go through it no matter what.... but like, if you're convinced that you wanna be 100% certain of a muggle existence (as opposed to the ~1-2% chance that you'd discover your "powers" and transcend muggledom) then i spose you're doing the right thing.
otherwise, man, i gotta be real.... if you're going to just kind of stop and be like "man i'm 30 years old and i'm parading around like an idiot thinking i'm a rap star... wtf am i doing?!" then i'd say that you never really had what it takes to make it in the rap game and perhaps it's better that you give it all up in the end. take it from me, wackzilla in the flesh.... most people, prolly something around 90% of everyone, would tell you that i'm a proper piece of shit loser junkie what have you... and there's times where i go out of my way to project an image that i agree with that.... but somewhere in the corner of the existential void in the pit of my soul exists just a little spark... a little tiny beaten-n-bloodied strung out spark of pure unabashed righteousness that says "fuck all of you!! i'm right and you're wrong and some day i'm going to kick all of your fucking asses and then rub your face in a fresh pile of my steaming shit" --- and as long as i have that, there will always be at the very least sporadic oddly-named internet rap songs going around.... nobody's even noticed what i've been secretly doing for the last two years (once i tarnished the name sinicalypse and made sure the name was proper poison around chicago i switched gears and moved on real quick) and like, within the next year or so roughly... once my corporeal form aligns with my mind being free and clear of the synchronistic omega-blockers and i have the requisite confidence to grab a microphone and demand attention en masse.... you lot will wonder just where the fuck i came from.
and like, i hope to god that you're just ragging and being emo about this... cuz like i said up there, if you REALLY think this then i don't think you ever had any business rapping in the first place. you have to have a bonafide alpha-dog mentality to do the rap thing.... take it from someone who's still bloodied and beaten in a heap on the floor of "the rap game", getting spit on and pissed on at every opportunity.... it might only be one song, it might be a career worth tens to hundreds of millions of dollars... but someday i WILL kick all of your asses, and someday you will respect the name sinicalypse. you might not like me, hell, 90%+ people don't.... and you might be keen to laugh at me given my proclivities... but you will know me and you will grow to respect me. that's my mandate. and if you don't got something like that burning inside of you, then you have no chance and you midaswell give it up and see if you can ghostwrite a song for the next puffy album (i.e. check out "the future" offa puff daddy's "press play" LP --- listen to that and tell me that the pharoahe monch writing doesn't shine through =)
SPEAKING OF RAMBLING POINTLESS EXISTENTIAL VOIDS THAT GO NOWHERE AND ACCOMPLISH NOTHING: I OFFER THE ABOVE AS EVIDENCE OF THAT!!!
and even tho my "haters" would be wright (read: fly) in saying that here is yet another example of me posting hundreds upon hundreds of words that go nowhere nor even attempt to accomplish anything, and even tho i concede they're right... still, fuck them. <latroy hawkins>i can do what they do but they can't do what i do</latroy hawkins>
_________________ Curious Hair wrote: Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?
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