How dare you, you Islamophobic piece of shit. Muslims are under siege from human garbage like you.

Last week I was driving down Kimberly Road in Bettendorf and I spied a beautiful Muslim woman of color. She had on a hijab, a miniskirt, and a great pair of Christian Louboutin spike heels. Unfortunately she had stepped on a sewer grate and the heel of her left shoe had become damaged. I pulled over and asked if I could be of assistance. After all, with my 173 IQ I figured I could probably help her out.

She was crying and I comforted her. I advised her that it would be no problem for me to repair the shoe as I had minored in cobbling when I was in college. I went back to my car to get my tools. The moment I stepped away a Volkswagen pulled up next to her and four Republicans wearing full SS uniforms leapt out and began yelling racial slurs and attempting to pull her hijab. I sprinted back to her and suddenly the four scumbags weren't so brave. I'm 6'1" tall, 250 lbs. with a barrel chest and to top it off I was carrying a 24" cast iron shoe stand anvil. The Republicans ran away like the vermin they are. But I got their license plate and called the local mosque to report it to the Imam.

We discussed Beyonce's twins while I repaired the Louboutin. When I was finished it was an honor to slip it back on this classy lady's foot.

The mults are stepping up their game in 2017. Thank you to whomever has has the time to create such wonderful and appropriate prose.

How dare you, you Islamophobic piece of shit. Muslims are under siege from human garbage like you.

Last week I was driving down Kimberly Road in Bettendorf and I spied a beautiful Muslim woman of color. She had on a hijab, a miniskirt, and a great pair of Christian Louboutin spike heels. Unfortunately she had stepped on a sewer grate and the heel of her left shoe had become damaged. I pulled over and asked if I could be of assistance. After all, with my 173 IQ I figured I could probably help her out.

She was crying and I comforted her. I advised her that it would be no problem for me to repair the shoe as I had minored in cobbling when I was in college. I went back to my car to get my tools. The moment I stepped away a Volkswagen pulled up next to her and four Republicans wearing full SS uniforms leapt out and began yelling racial slurs and attempting to pull her hijab. I sprinted back to her and suddenly the four scumbags weren't so brave. I'm 6'1" tall, 250 lbs. with a barrel chest and to top it off I was carrying a 24" cast iron shoe stand anvil. The Republicans ran away like the vermin they are. But I got their license plate and called the local mosque to report it to the Imam.

We discussed Beyonce's twins while I repaired the Louboutin. When I was finished it was an honor to slip it back on this classy lady's foot.

How dare you, you Islamophobic piece of shit. Muslims are under siege from human garbage like you.

Last week I was driving down Kimberly Road in Bettendorf and I spied a beautiful Muslim woman of color. She had on a hijab, a miniskirt, and a great pair of Christian Louboutin spike heels. Unfortunately she had stepped on a sewer grate and the heel of her left shoe had become damaged. I pulled over and asked if I could be of assistance. After all, with my 173 IQ I figured I could probably help her out.

She was crying and I comforted her. I advised her that it would be no problem for me to repair the shoe as I had minored in cobbling when I was in college. I went back to my car to get my tools. The moment I stepped away a Volkswagen pulled up next to her and four Republicans wearing full SS uniforms leapt out and began yelling racial slurs and attempting to pull her hijab. I sprinted back to her and suddenly the four scumbags weren't so brave. I'm 6'1" tall, 250 lbs. with a barrel chest and to top it off I was carrying a 24" cast iron shoe stand anvil. The Republicans ran away like the vermin they are. But I got their license plate and called the local mosque to report it to the Imam.

We discussed Beyonce's twins while I repaired the Louboutin. When I was finished it was an honor to slip it back on this classy lady's foot.

Good, but not quite QCP. You got the IQ brag, but you forgot the eidetic memory brag, the majoring in 5 different unrelated subjects, and this wasn't vulgar enough.