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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 9:31 pm 
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My mom once told me that if I messed with the thermostat, the pictures on the walls would all turn upside-down.

It was a horrible strategy on her part.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 9:39 pm 
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Not mom but the one I always remember is my Uncle Len telling me he was Batman. He resembled Adam West alot and he had this ring that he would tell me that was his way to open the Batcave.



Speaking of uncle Len, we were down in Florida staying at his house and he had a male friend over and my mom said since we were taking the guest bedroom that my Uncle Len's friend would have to sleep on the floor in his room.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 9:39 pm 
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Chris_in_joliet wrote:
Not mom but the one I always remember is my Uncle Len telling me he was Batman. He resembled Adam West alot and he had this ring that he would tell me that was his way to open the Batcave.



Speaking of uncle Len, we were down in Florida staying at his house and he had a male friend over and my mom said since we were taking the guest bedroom that my Uncle Len's friend would have to sleep on the floor in his room.


:lol:

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 9:43 pm 
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We had a detached garage built when I was growing up. My mom told me if I left the light on in that garage at night, the house would blow up.


I asked my grandfather (when I was a kid) why the moon was a half moon. He told me there were moon cutters sent up to the moon to cut it like that.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 9:45 pm 
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Everything we did or said was running up the light, gas or water bill. We couldn't talk when there was a thunderstorm or watch tv or the lightning would strike our house. My grandmother told a story about a ball of lightning coming in the middle of the floor when she was a kid because they talked during a thunderstorm.

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Nas: Blago, who has single handedly destroyed CFMB?

Blago: https://youtube.com/shorts/Lftdxd-YXt8?feature=share

"You can’t love your country only when you win." -President Biden

https://youtu.be/R6e4ruziZBI?si=1G4W1vbh0eGQuHfU


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 9:49 pm 
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My 90 year old mom told me Trump would hire qualified advisors so that his total lack of competence wouldn’t matter. Seriously.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 9:51 pm 
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Chris_in_joliet wrote:
Not mom but the one I always remember is my Uncle Len telling me he was Batman. He resembled Adam West alot and he had this ring that he would tell me that was his way to open the Batcave.



Speaking of uncle Len, we were down in Florida staying at his house and he had a male friend over and my mom said since we were taking the guest bedroom that my Uncle Len's friend would have to sleep on the floor in his room.


:lol: :lol:

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Nas: Blago, who has single handedly destroyed CFMB?

Blago: https://youtube.com/shorts/Lftdxd-YXt8?feature=share

"You can’t love your country only when you win." -President Biden

https://youtu.be/R6e4ruziZBI?si=1G4W1vbh0eGQuHfU


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 9:54 pm 
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We love you unconditionally.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 9:59 pm 
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SpiralStairs wrote:
We love you unconditionally.


They never said that.

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I'm a big dumb shitlib baby


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 10:03 pm 
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leashyourkids wrote:
SpiralStairs wrote:
We love you unconditionally.


They never said that.

He misheard them .... they said they loved air conditioning.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 10:03 pm 
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I convinced my kids that the ice cream man only turns the music on to alert the kids he was out of ice cream. It worked till my daughter was 5.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 10:04 pm 
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There's a heaven


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 10:47 pm 
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Santa was really close to getting me an Atari XE instead of a Nintendo Entertainment System (NES)

(it turns out that unlike me (who had waffled up and back between XE/NES all fall leading up to Xmas) Santa had decided Nintendo a long time ago and enlisted my extended family to all contribute games that year so come Dec 26th I would have a proper Nintendo with 5+ games (Zelda, Baseball, Excitebike, Trojan, and uhhh I think the original Mario Bros (arcade game port) to go along with Gyromite and Duck Hunt, of course!! #ShootTheDog!!!! =)

Go figure nowadays it turns out that my inner [wannabe] electronic/musician in me wishes I maybe got that atari XE cuz I could run OG Cubase VST on there + likely rock other low tech audiowarez to have a wonderfully vintage MIDI box/machine. Yes, that's right, even GRAMMY WINNING ELECTRONIC ARTIST APHEX TWIN will bust out some vintage Atari XE/ST/XL drums!

For the record it took actual receipts for stuff like my Little Professor calculatoresque thingy to convince me that the whole "fuck all y'all Santa's got my back!" was a losing mindset.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 14, 2017 12:50 am 
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Hockey Gay wrote:
There's a heaven

Well, not for you, of course.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 14, 2017 6:30 am 
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You have to wait 30 minutes after eating to swim


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 14, 2017 6:56 am 
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My Dad's family is from way down in southern Illinois just a few blocks from the Ohio River. When we were kids my dad and uncle would tell us that drift wood floating down the river were alligators. I believed him till I was in 5th grade or so.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 14, 2017 8:02 am 
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I'm special.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 14, 2017 8:39 am 
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Furious Styles wrote:
I'm special.



That there were certain foods or meals I wouldn’t like. Look, mom and dad didn’t want to spend the money on feeding lamb or veal to two teenage boys who would just assume eat pizza or burgers, I can respect that. Hell, given the option we woulda probably picked burgers and pizza instead.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 9:15 am 
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My mom had me when she was 40 years old. Until I was about close to a teenager, she always told me she was about 10 years younger than she actually was. My older and brother and sister always tried to tell me mom was just fibbing to make herself younger, and I would not believe it.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 9:19 am 
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My mom lies about everything.


One of the early funny ones was when I was learning averages in like 3rd grade and was averaging out stats on our calculator. I asked her what her usual test scores were so I could average them and without a hint of sarcasm she rattles off "97,95,98,99"

Shameless.


Also, she lied about my dad paying for my high school tuition and paying the insurance on our car. But that's another thread.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 9:21 am 
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Drunk Squirrel wrote:
Furious Styles wrote:
I'm special.

That there were certain foods or meals I wouldn’t like. Look, mom and dad didn’t want to spend the money on feeding lamb or veal to two teenage boys who would just assume eat pizza or burgers, I can respect that. Hell, given the option we woulda probably picked burgers and pizza instead.
This. I had "hamburger steaks" MANY times until I was about 10.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 9:22 am 
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My mother in law told her kids she was 27 or 23, can’t remember for years. Told the grandkids it too. Took the one niece a while to figure it out.

One of my wife’s friends says she’s 23. She said it when she was 39 and I told my wife it looked like a rough 23 years.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 9:25 am 
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That they were married when I was little.

They divorced when I was 6months old and separated for a year and then got back together but never remarried. They ended up "divorcing" for good when I was 7. We didn't find this out until we were adults. So technically my sister is a bastard :lol: :lol:

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