Chicago Fanatics Message Board :: View topic - Darkside is having a manic episode

it takes a special kind of human being to be able to take a crap anywhere, at any time.

I have been known to go 3 days without taking a crap while staying at someone else's place. It's 100% mental.

City of Fools wrote:

it takes a special kind of human being to be able to take a crap anywhere, at any time.

I have been known to go 3 days without taking a crap while staying at someone else's place. It's 100% mental.

Yet you post nothing but "shit" here...

it takes a special kind of human being to be able to take a crap anywhere, at any time.

I have been known to go 3 days without taking a crap while staying at someone else's place. It's 100% mental.

City of Fools wrote:

it takes a special kind of human being to be able to take a crap anywhere, at any time.

I have been known to go 3 days without taking a crap while staying at someone else's place. It's 100% mental.

Yet you post nothing but "shit" here...

Only "Betas" put a paper cover over the toliet seat. Seriously. If it's not clean enough(visibly) just go to the next stall.

Caller Bob wrote:

Only "Betas" put a paper cover over the toliet seat. Seriously. If it's not clean enough(visibly) just go to the next stall.

I never use the paper covers. I used to use build a little nest out of TP but now I don't even bother. My ass cheeks can handle it. You aren't going to get AIDS. Just sit down and move on with your life.

I recommend avoiding the shitter in places like Lowe’s or Hone Depot. Good lord.

I’m not opposed to the road game and I swear a trip to Farm and Fleet has a damn good chance of triggering the need.

I drive quite a bit for work and I've found Starbucks and Panera are the best go to spots to shit. Also, you rarely find one in a shitty neighborhood so if you Google the nearest one you won't stop in an area that is questionable.

Drunk Squirrel wrote:

Shitty lawn equipment and candle holders with Jesus on them make you poop?

Hank Scorpio wrote:

Agreed on Starbucks.

I'm working one day and there's a school on my route. I drop their mail off and I have to take a dump. It can't wait. I walk into the bathroom and of course, it's around lunchtime and there's about 4 kids in there. They look at me like "What are you doing?". So I go into the stall and do my business. As I'm sitting there, another kid walks in and yells "Ewww....it smells like poop in here!" I finish up, walk out and as they are glaring at me, I said "I'm sorry but I really had to go." Not a banner day.

Peoria Matt wrote:

Hank Scorpio wrote:

Fuck those kids.

leashyourkids wrote:

Peoria Matt wrote:

Hank Scorpio wrote:

Fuck those kids.

The next generation will be worse than us millenials.

Hank Scorpio wrote:

Back in my copier repair days, Borders and Barnes and Noble were my go to's. Northbrook Court mall was really nice, too.

City of Fools wrote:

it takes a special kind of human being to be able to take a crap anywhere, at any time.

I have been known to go 3 days without taking a crap while staying at someone else's place. It's 100% mental.

Yet you post nothing but "shit" here...

sjboyd0137 wrote:

Hank Scorpio wrote:

Back in my copier repair days, Borders and Barnes and Noble were my go to's. Northbrook Court mall was really nice, too.

has no one created an app that shows you where public bathrooms are and their quality ?

Bagels wrote:

sjboyd0137 wrote:

Hank Scorpio wrote:

Back in my copier repair days, Borders and Barnes and Noble were my go to's. Northbrook Court mall was really nice, too.

has no one created an app that shows you where public bathrooms are and their quality ?

This is a legit thing...

You people are whacked. Of course I prefer my home toilets, but when you gotta go you gotta go.

CoF waits 3 days? That is not normal.

A couple years ago I was driving home from a basketball game and the urge hit and it was bad. I had to go like right now. I made to a gas station in the middle of nowhere. The bathrooms were one seaters. The guys was in use. I stood there for a couple mins and it was getting really bad. So I went in the ladies room. It was really bad deal. I tore up that poor toilet. Thankfully no ladies where waiting when I came out.

Author:	sjboyd0137 [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 2:01 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
Bagels wrote: has to be a bit I think he's drinking a Prestone Colada a day.

Author:	HawaiiYou [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 2:02 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
no it's true. When you get old you will have these stories too.

Author:	City of Fools [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 2:03 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
it takes a special kind of human being to be able to take a crap anywhere, at any time. I have been known to go 3 days without taking a crap while staying at someone else's place. It's 100% mental.

Author:	Caller Bob [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 2:05 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
City of Fools wrote: it takes a special kind of human being to be able to take a crap anywhere, at any time. I have been known to go 3 days without taking a crap while staying at someone else's place. It's 100% mental. Yet you post nothing but "shit" here...

Author:	sjboyd0137 [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 2:07 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
Caller Bob wrote: City of Fools wrote: it takes a special kind of human being to be able to take a crap anywhere, at any time. I have been known to go 3 days without taking a crap while staying at someone else's place. It's 100% mental. Yet you post nothing but "shit" here...

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Author:	HawaiiYou [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 2:10 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
City of Fools wrote: it takes a special kind of human being to be able to take a crap anywhere, at any time. I have been known to go 3 days without taking a crap while staying at someone else's place. It's 100% mental. I use to be like that too. From ages 0 to 18 i think. Then I was forced to use public bathrooms. But I try to avoid as much as I can. They're just nasty and disgusting.

Author:	City of Fools [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 2:15 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
Caller Bob wrote: City of Fools wrote: it takes a special kind of human being to be able to take a crap anywhere, at any time. I have been known to go 3 days without taking a crap while staying at someone else's place. It's 100% mental. Yet you post nothing but "shit" here... well, that's rich...

Author:	Walt Williams Neck [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 2:18 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode

Author:	Don Tiny [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 2:19 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
This probably isn't the best thread to read whilst eating Jimmy John's.

Author:	Hank Scorpio [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 7:32 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
Caller Bob wrote: Only "Betas" put a paper cover over the toliet seat. Seriously. If it's not clean enough(visibly) just go to the next stall. I never use the paper covers. I used to use build a little nest out of TP but now I don't even bother. My ass cheeks can handle it. You aren't going to get AIDS. Just sit down and move on with your life.

Author:	leashyourkids [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 7:43 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
Hank Scorpio wrote: Caller Bob wrote: Only "Betas" put a paper cover over the toliet seat. Seriously. If it's not clean enough(visibly) just go to the next stall. I never use the paper covers. I used to use build a little nest out of TP but now I don't even bother. My ass cheeks can handle it. You aren't going to get AIDS. Just sit down and move on with your life. Hank, I swear we’re the same person sometimes. I learned to man up and touch the porcelain a long time ago. It’s not fun, but you forget about it and move on.

Author:	Drunk Squirrel [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 7:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
I recommend avoiding the shitter in places like Lowe’s or Hone Depot. Good lord. I’m not opposed to the road game and I swear a trip to Farm and Fleet has a damn good chance of triggering the need.

Author:	leashyourkids [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 7:53 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
Drunk Squirrel wrote: I recommend avoiding the shitter in places like Lowe’s or Hone Depot. Good lord. I’m not opposed to the road game and I swear a trip to Farm and Fleet has a damn good chance of triggering the need. Shitty lawn equipment and candle holders with Jesus on them make you poop?

Author:	Hank Scorpio [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 7:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
I drive quite a bit for work and I've found Starbucks and Panera are the best go to spots to shit. Also, you rarely find one in a shitty neighborhood so if you Google the nearest one you won't stop in an area that is questionable.

Author:	Bagels [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 9:27 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
yea all the good ideas are taken (and yea I know George Costanza had the idea first )

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Author:	pittmike [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 8:49 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
Drunk Squirrel wrote: I recommend avoiding the shitter in places like Lowe’s or Hone Depot. Good lord. I’m not opposed to the road game and I swear a trip to Farm and Fleet has a damn good chance of triggering the need. The Lowe’s by me has a nice shitter. 12 inch ceramic tiles and plenty of room.

Author:	Peoria Matt [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 9:14 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
Hank Scorpio wrote: I drive quite a bit for work and I've found Starbucks and Panera are the best go to spots to shit. Also, you rarely find one in a shitty neighborhood so if you Google the nearest one you won't stop in an area that is questionable. Agreed on Starbucks. I'm working one day and there's a school on my route. I drop their mail off and I have to take a dump. It can't wait. I walk into the bathroom and of course, it's around lunchtime and there's about 4 kids in there. They look at me like "What are you doing?". So I go into the stall and do my business. As I'm sitting there, another kid walks in and yells "Ewww....it smells like poop in here!" I finish up, walk out and as they are glaring at me, I said "I'm sorry but I really had to go." Not a banner day.

Author:	Drunk Squirrel [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 9:16 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
leashyourkids wrote: Drunk Squirrel wrote: I recommend avoiding the shitter in places like Lowe’s or Hone Depot. Good lord. I’m not opposed to the road game and I swear a trip to Farm and Fleet has a damn good chance of triggering the need. Shitty lawn equipment and candle holders with Jesus on them make you poop? DEF and heat lamps and Dickey’s work wear... hell if I know. Not sure I’ve seen those candle holders at Farm and Fleet... Now Farm King; that’s a different story. I believe they are next to the paintings of the sleeping hunter and the deer that’s eating rip van Winkle’s lunch.

Author:	leashyourkids [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 9:16 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
Peoria Matt wrote: Hank Scorpio wrote: I drive quite a bit for work and I've found Starbucks and Panera are the best go to spots to shit. Also, you rarely find one in a shitty neighborhood so if you Google the nearest one you won't stop in an area that is questionable. Agreed on Starbucks. I'm working one day and there's a school on my route. I drop their mail off and I have to take a dump. It can't wait. I walk into the bathroom and of course, it's around lunchtime and there's about 4 kids in there. They look at me like "What are you doing?". So I go into the stall and do my business. As I'm sitting there, another kid walks in and yells "Ewww....it smells like poop in here!" I finish up, walk out and as they are glaring at me, I said "I'm sorry but I really had to go." Not a banner day. Fuck those kids.

Author:	Brick [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 9:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
leashyourkids wrote: Peoria Matt wrote: Hank Scorpio wrote: I drive quite a bit for work and I've found Starbucks and Panera are the best go to spots to shit. Also, you rarely find one in a shitty neighborhood so if you Google the nearest one you won't stop in an area that is questionable. Agreed on Starbucks. I'm working one day and there's a school on my route. I drop their mail off and I have to take a dump. It can't wait. I walk into the bathroom and of course, it's around lunchtime and there's about 4 kids in there. They look at me like "What are you doing?". So I go into the stall and do my business. As I'm sitting there, another kid walks in and yells "Ewww....it smells like poop in here!" I finish up, walk out and as they are glaring at me, I said "I'm sorry but I really had to go." Not a banner day. Fuck those kids. The next generation will be worse than us millenials.

Author:	leashyourkids [ Tue Nov 21, 2017 9:49 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
Boilermaker Rick wrote: leashyourkids wrote: Peoria Matt wrote: Hank Scorpio wrote: I drive quite a bit for work and I've found Starbucks and Panera are the best go to spots to shit. Also, you rarely find one in a shitty neighborhood so if you Google the nearest one you won't stop in an area that is questionable. Agreed on Starbucks. I'm working one day and there's a school on my route. I drop their mail off and I have to take a dump. It can't wait. I walk into the bathroom and of course, it's around lunchtime and there's about 4 kids in there. They look at me like "What are you doing?". So I go into the stall and do my business. As I'm sitting there, another kid walks in and yells "Ewww....it smells like poop in here!" I finish up, walk out and as they are glaring at me, I said "I'm sorry but I really had to go." Not a banner day. Fuck those kids. The next generation will be worse than us millenials. Agreed, except there will be more Cub fans.

Author:	sjboyd0137 [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 9:03 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
Hank Scorpio wrote: I drive quite a bit for work and I've found Starbucks and Panera are the best go to spots to shit. Also, you rarely find one in a shitty neighborhood so if you Google the nearest one you won't stop in an area that is questionable. Back in my copier repair days, Borders and Barnes and Noble were my go to's. Northbrook Court mall was really nice, too.

Author:	Bagels [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 9:07 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
sjboyd0137 wrote: Hank Scorpio wrote: I drive quite a bit for work and I've found Starbucks and Panera are the best go to spots to shit. Also, you rarely find one in a shitty neighborhood so if you Google the nearest one you won't stop in an area that is questionable. Back in my copier repair days, Borders and Barnes and Noble were my go to's. Northbrook Court mall was really nice, too. has no one created an app that shows you where public bathrooms are and their quality ?

Author:	Harvard Dan [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 9:09 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
Caller Bob wrote: City of Fools wrote: it takes a special kind of human being to be able to take a crap anywhere, at any time. I have been known to go 3 days without taking a crap while staying at someone else's place. It's 100% mental. Yet you post nothing but "shit" here... I guess he feels at home here.

Author:	sjboyd0137 [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 9:17 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
Bagels wrote: sjboyd0137 wrote: Hank Scorpio wrote: I drive quite a bit for work and I've found Starbucks and Panera are the best go to spots to shit. Also, you rarely find one in a shitty neighborhood so if you Google the nearest one you won't stop in an area that is questionable. Back in my copier repair days, Borders and Barnes and Noble were my go to's. Northbrook Court mall was really nice, too. has no one created an app that shows you where public bathrooms are and their quality ? This is a legit thing...

Author:	Frank Coztansa [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:38 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
You people are whacked. Of course I prefer my home toilets, but when you gotta go you gotta go. CoF waits 3 days? That is not normal.

Author:	Terry's Peeps [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 12:49 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
sjboyd0137 wrote: Bagels wrote: sjboyd0137 wrote: Hank Scorpio wrote: I drive quite a bit for work and I've found Starbucks and Panera are the best go to spots to shit. Also, you rarely find one in a shitty neighborhood so if you Google the nearest one you won't stop in an area that is questionable. Back in my copier repair days, Borders and Barnes and Noble were my go to's. Northbrook Court mall was really nice, too. has no one created an app that shows you where public bathrooms are and their quality ? This is a legit thing... Braun Strowman's favorite app.

Author:	RFDC [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 1:07 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
Frank Coztansa wrote: You people are whacked. Of course I prefer my home toilets, but when you gotta go you gotta go. CoF waits 3 days? That is not normal. I dont buy that 3 day thing. Never happened. Hank is dead on in this thread. If you gotta go, you gotta go. I dont care where it is. At our school there is unisex restroom in one of the workrooms. It is near a hallway where there are mostly female teachers and they like to think of it as their restroom. They get mad if guys use it and stink it up. They bitch all the time about such nonsense. Like when they use it it never stinks. Fuck that. I will use that restroom anytime I please. A couple years ago I was driving home from a basketball game and the urge hit and it was bad. I had to go like right now. I made to a gas station in the middle of nowhere. The bathrooms were one seaters. The guys was in use. I stood there for a couple mins and it was getting really bad. So I went in the ladies room. It was really bad deal. I tore up that poor toilet. Thankfully no ladies where waiting when I came out.

Author:	Douchebag [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 1:21 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
RFDC wrote: A couple years ago I was driving home from a basketball game and the urge hit and it was bad. I had to go like right now. I made to a gas station in the middle of nowhere. The bathrooms were one seaters. The guys was in use. I stood there for a couple mins and it was getting really bad. So I went in the ladies room. It was really bad deal. I tore up that poor toilet. Thankfully no ladies where waiting when I came out. Wasn't this a Degenerate Dave story?

Author:	Frank Coztansa [ Wed Nov 22, 2017 1:23 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Darkside is having a manic episode
Again, when you gotta go you gotta go. If its a ladies room so be it. The only time in my life where I can really remember straining to hold it was on a Greyhound bus at like 3 in the morning, and that was only because we were supposed to get to the Fargo station soon.