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Dr Ken is hiring!!!!
http://chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=47&t=110468
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Author:  Spaulding [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

Gonna give him the pizza with little pizzas on top

Full-Time Private Chef in Gold Coast
Strollers and Stilettos - Chicago, IL


Family living in the Gold Coast of Chicago is seeking a professional, experienced, educated, creative and detail oriented full-time private chef to prepare healthy meals. The schedule is on Monday - Friday at approximately 11:00am - 7:00pm or 12:00pm - 8:00pm. Flexibility is required to work later weekday evenings, weekends and holidays when family is entertaining. Chef is responsible for traveling internationally to Europe approximately 2-4+ weeks every summer along with international and/or domestic travel approximately 2-4+ weeks during other months of the year. Extreme flexibility is required for the position. Chef is responsible for preparing two meals per day (lunch is plated and dinner served to family around 6:00/7:00pm). Breakfast should be prepared the day before and left in fridge for family. Chef is not responsible for preparing staff meals. Candidate should be experienced and comfortable working collaboratively in fully staffed semi-formal residences (e.g., family office, executive assistant, housekeeper, nannies, etc.). Ideal candidate has a culinary degree, bachelor’s degree in Nutrition and/or Dietetics (ideally someone that has cooked for athletes and understands the right ingredients to put in food, but also understands portion control), 2-5+ years of consistent and recent domestic experience as a full-time private chef (consistent experience with minimal families), experienced with Vegan and Vegetarian diets (Farm to table, spa cuisine, gluten free, etc.), understands the importance of maintaining discretion, discreet and calm demeanor, comfortable working with children and dog, assertive, positive, proactive, organized and detail oriented, service focused, kind, respectful, seeking longevity and has a flexible schedule. Family will likely be purchasing an organic farm in Michigan, so ideal candidate is passionate and interested in assisting with harvest and cooking with fresh seasonal ingredients from the farm. This is a newly created private chef position where we are structuring multiple domestic employees for the family. Family is open to private chef relocation to get the best candidate (e.g., degree, extensive full-time private chef experience, etc.). Chef coat/uniform is required. Start date is flexible for the right candidate.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

Creativity in preparing Vegan, Vegetarian, Farm to Table and gluten free meals (organic food required)
Responsible for preparing foods based around specific diets
Keeping up-to-date on the latest culinary trends and fads
Experienced with planning menus for principals, children and events
Experienced pureeing baby food and preparing foods for children that introduce them to new foods (family hopes to begin having children soon)
Responsible for creating lists and ordering or shopping for fresh foods
Professional presence and experience in food presentation and table setting is mandatory
Responsible for white glove serving of meals to family (occasionally for dinner and events)
Responsible for all food preparation and kitchen related duties along with grocery shopping
High standards of health and hygiene with food
Properly storing ingredients and leftovers
Responsible for coordinating cooking and serving times with principals and children
Responsible for cleaning and tidying kitchen after each use
Maintaining all kitchen equipment
Interactions with extended family and business associates for holiday meals and events at the residence
Providing hospitality and service to visitors and guests (including formal service when hosting private events)
Ensure pantry, refrigerator and wine cellar are properly stocked in accordance with the family's travel and entertaining schedules
QUALIFICATIONS:

Highly organized, detail oriented, proactive, excellent time management, efficient and service focused
Attentive to family's preferences and style (intuitive to their needs)
Ability to maintain discretion (confidentiality agreement is required)
Ability to be discreet with respect for family's privacy
Professional presentation of self and great personality
Ability to easily take direction
Strong ability to communicate and collaborate effectively with family, household staff and family office
Discreet and understand the importance of when to be present and when to be hidden
Positive attitude and ability to handle chef responsibilities with ease and calm demeanor
Active and fit

Author:  tommy [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

Hog Butcher for the World,
Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat,
Player with Railroads and the Nation's Freight Handler;
Stormy, husky, brawling,
City of the Big Shoulders.....

Author:  Dr. Kenneth Noisewater [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

A degreed nutritionist and professional chef that is also willing to be an organic farm worker and has no personal life so is willing to be on demand at the whims of myself?

No. I'm not eating a cold breakfast.

Author:  Drunk Squirrel [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

Damn.. I don’t have a chef coat.

Author:  FavreFan [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

That sounds like the most depressing job in history

Author:  tommy [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

Spaulding wrote:
bachelor’s degree in Nutrition and/or Dietetics


Scientologists. I knew it. Be real careful if you're gonna apply.

Author:  Caller Bob [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

Sini is looking for work?

Author:  Spaulding [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

The average chef salary in Chicago is between 60-80. The top 25% make 80+ but they are off some days and party after work. While trips to Europe sound great you'd be giving up a lot for this job. Most chefs are not on board with lots of dietary restrictions either.

Author:  Dr. Kenneth Noisewater [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

Spaulding wrote:
The average chef salary in Chicago is between 60-80. The top 25% make 80+ but they are off some days and party after work. While trips to Europe sound great you'd be giving up a lot for this job. Most chefs are not on board with lots of dietary restrictions either.


How do they feel about being a rural Michigan organic farm worker?

Author:  tommy [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

This is a nightmare job. Harvest? Uniform? White gloves? Hospitality? "Discreet and understand the importance of when to be present and when to be hidden"? It's like they want someone from The Remains of the Day.

Author:  FavreFan [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

“Understand the importance of when to be present and when to be hidden”

:lol:

Burn the rich.

Author:  Dr. Kenneth Noisewater [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

tommy wrote:
This is a nightmare job. Harvest? Uniform? White gloves? Hospitality? "Discreet and understand the importance of when to be present and when to be hidden"? It's like they want someone from The Remains of the Day.



:lol: :lol:

Author:  Dr. Kenneth Noisewater [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

FavreFan wrote:
“Understand the importance of when to be present and when to be hidden”

:lol:

Burn the rich.


Take it easy.

Author:  Drunk Squirrel [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

God... that’s something.

Author:  ToxicMasculinity [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 9:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

These are some real "Let them eat cake" motherfuckers. I've never seen such a tone deaf job opening. If I have worked preparing meals for athletes I am not taking a paycut to cook your shithead kids (probably named Cayden and Zoe) vegan gluten free meals in Europe.

Then tell me to clean up my own dishes? GTFO

Author:  shirtless driver [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 10:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

That has to be a joke posting.

Author:  Dr. Kenneth Noisewater [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 10:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

shirtless driver wrote:
That has to be a joke posting.


It's true.

It will just be a regular, not organic, farm.

But I do want to see Guy Fieri, gloves on, on his hands and knees pulling out jimson weeds by the root or they will grow back.

Author:  FavreFan [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 10:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

Sucks for the guy who meets all those ridiculous requirements but is overweight.

Author:  newper [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 10:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

Forcing a chef to only cook vegan/vegetarian is like forcing an offensive coordinator to not use the forward pass. If you ever hope to find someone, you are going to have to adjust expectations.

Author:  Drunk Squirrel [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 10:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:
shirtless driver wrote:
That has to be a joke posting.


It's true.

It will just be a regular, not organic, farm.

But I do want to see Guy Fieri, gloves on, on his hands and knees pulling out jimson weeds by the root or they will grow back.



I hate Jimson weed, nasty, stinky weed.

Author:  Dr. Kenneth Noisewater [ Fri Jan 19, 2018 10:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

I always called it gypsum weed. Before Google told me what it was.

Author:  Regular Reader [ Sat Jan 20, 2018 1:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:
I always called it gypsum weed. Before Google told me what it was.


Learn something new everyday

Author:  sinicalypse [ Sat Jan 20, 2018 6:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

Spaulding wrote:
Gonna give him the pizza with little pizzas on top

Full-Time Private Chef in Gold Coast
Strollers and Stilettos - Chicago, IL


Family living in the Gold Coast of Chicago is seeking a professional, experienced, educated, creative and detail oriented full-time private chef to prepare healthy meals. The schedule is on Monday - Friday at approximately 11:00am - 7:00pm or 12:00pm - 8:00pm. Flexibility is required to work later weekday evenings, weekends and holidays when family is entertaining. Chef is responsible for traveling internationally to Europe approximately 2-4+ weeks every summer along with international and/or domestic travel approximately 2-4+ weeks during other months of the year. Extreme flexibility is required for the position. Chef is responsible for preparing two meals per day (lunch is plated and dinner served to family around 6:00/7:00pm). Breakfast should be prepared the day before and left in fridge for family. Chef is not responsible for preparing staff meals. Candidate should be experienced and comfortable working collaboratively in fully staffed semi-formal residences (e.g., family office, executive assistant, housekeeper, nannies, etc.). Ideal candidate has a culinary degree, bachelor’s degree in Nutrition and/or Dietetics (ideally someone that has cooked for athletes and understands the right ingredients to put in food, but also understands portion control), 2-5+ years of consistent and recent domestic experience as a full-time private chef (consistent experience with minimal families), experienced with Vegan and Vegetarian diets (Farm to table, spa cuisine, gluten free, etc.), understands the importance of maintaining discretion, discreet and calm demeanor, comfortable working with children and dog, assertive, positive, proactive, organized and detail oriented, service focused, kind, respectful, seeking longevity and has a flexible schedule. Family will likely be purchasing an organic farm in Michigan, so ideal candidate is passionate and interested in assisting with harvest and cooking with fresh seasonal ingredients from the farm. This is a newly created private chef position where we are structuring multiple domestic employees for the family. Family is open to private chef relocation to get the best candidate (e.g., degree, extensive full-time private chef experience, etc.). Chef coat/uniform is required. Start date is flexible for the right candidate.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

Creativity in preparing Vegan, Vegetarian, Farm to Table and gluten free meals (organic food required)
Responsible for preparing foods based around specific diets
Keeping up-to-date on the latest culinary trends and fads
Experienced with planning menus for principals, children and events
Experienced pureeing baby food and preparing foods for children that introduce them to new foods (family hopes to begin having children soon)
Responsible for creating lists and ordering or shopping for fresh foods
Professional presence and experience in food presentation and table setting is mandatory
Responsible for white glove serving of meals to family (occasionally for dinner and events)
Responsible for all food preparation and kitchen related duties along with grocery shopping
High standards of health and hygiene with food
Properly storing ingredients and leftovers
Responsible for coordinating cooking and serving times with principals and children
Responsible for cleaning and tidying kitchen after each use
Maintaining all kitchen equipment
Interactions with extended family and business associates for holiday meals and events at the residence
Providing hospitality and service to visitors and guests (including formal service when hosting private events)
Ensure pantry, refrigerator and wine cellar are properly stocked in accordance with the family's travel and entertaining schedules
QUALIFICATIONS:

Highly organized, detail oriented, proactive, excellent time management, efficient and service focused
Attentive to family's preferences and style (intuitive to their needs)
Ability to maintain discretion (confidentiality agreement is required)
Ability to be discreet with respect for family's privacy
Professional presentation of self and great personality
Ability to easily take direction
Strong ability to communicate and collaborate effectively with family, household staff and family office
Discreet and understand the importance of when to be present and when to be hidden
Positive attitude and ability to handle chef responsibilities with ease and calm demeanor
Active and fit

TLDR

Author:  sinicalypse [ Sat Jan 20, 2018 6:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

newper wrote:
Forcing a chef to only cook vegan/vegetarian is like forcing an offensive coordinator to not use the forward pass. If you ever hope to find someone, you are going to have to adjust expectations.

https://youtu.be/lHXwpky1fVw

(Look for the cube/NWA split part and that million dollar smile right after the amerikkka's most wanted sales figures. And his hat =)

Author:  K Effective [ Sat Jan 20, 2018 1:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

If they're willing to pay $80K plus just for a chef to fly around the world, and are really looking for a farm in Michigan, I'm pretty sure mine is for sale. We can call it organic, orgasmic, whatever you want, baby.

Author:  Peoria Matt [ Sat Jan 20, 2018 2:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

:lol:

Sini, nicely played.

Author:  Dr. Kenneth Noisewater [ Sat Jan 20, 2018 2:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

K Effective wrote:
If they're willing to pay $80K plus just for a chef to fly around the world, and are really looking for a farm in Michigan, I'm pretty sure mine is for sale. We can call it organic, orgasmic, whatever you want, baby.


Our neighbors switched to an orgasmic farm.

Yeah...we talked about ‘em.

Author:  Drunk Squirrel [ Sat Jan 20, 2018 2:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:
K Effective wrote:
If they're willing to pay $80K plus just for a chef to fly around the world, and are really looking for a farm in Michigan, I'm pretty sure mine is for sale. We can call it organic, orgasmic, whatever you want, baby.


Our neighbors switched to an orgasmic farm.

Yeah...we talked about ‘em.


Were they growing pineapples?

Author:  Dr. Kenneth Noisewater [ Sat Jan 20, 2018 4:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dr Ken is hiring!!!!

Drunk Squirrel wrote:
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:
K Effective wrote:
If they're willing to pay $80K plus just for a chef to fly around the world, and are really looking for a farm in Michigan, I'm pretty sure mine is for sale. We can call it organic, orgasmic, whatever you want, baby.


Our neighbors switched to an orgasmic farm.

Yeah...we talked about ‘em.


Were they growing pineapples?


Not traditionally.

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