Chicago Fanatics Message Board :: View topic - You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?

A young husband and wife were sunning on a nude beach when a bee buzzed into the woman's vagina. The husband covered her with a coat, pulled on his shorts, carried her to the car and made a dash to the hospital.
After examining her, the doctor explained that the bee was too far in to be reached with forceps. He suggested the husband try to entice it out by putting honey on his penis, penetrating her and withdrawing as soon as he felt the bee.
The man agreed to try, but because he was so nervous, he couldn't rise to the occasion. "If neither of you objects," the doctor said, "I could give it a try."
Under the circumstances, both agreed. The doctor quickly undressed, slathered on some honey and mounted the woman. The husband watched with increasing alarm as the doctor's thrusts continued for several long minutes. "Hey, what the hell is happening?"
"Change of plans," the physician panted. "I'm going to drown the bastard!"

Author:	Darkside [ Tue Jan 30, 2018 9:45 pm ]
Post subject:	You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
Because if they had 4 they'd be chicken sedans. What you got, son?

Author:	Juice's Lecture Notes [ Tue Jan 30, 2018 9:56 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
I didnt get a haircut. I got them all cut.

Author:	Darkside [ Tue Jan 30, 2018 10:00 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
Juice's Lecture Notes wrote: I didnt get a haircut. I got them all cut. Not bad. A man went into a bar and ordered a drink. He then went into the John. There he saw a black guy taking a leak. Curious, he snuck a peek. He saw the black man had a white penis. Shocked he returned to the bar and told the bartender that that black dude had a white penis. The bartender said nah man that's not a black guy... it's a coal miner on his honeymoon.

Author:	Peoria Matt [ Tue Jan 30, 2018 10:03 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, "You have a drink named Steve?"

Author:	newper [ Tue Jan 30, 2018 10:20 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
Oh, Uncle Hector. Uncle Hector, he was from my, dad’s side of the family. And he was, he was a great man, my uncle, you know? He was an old fella, he actually rode the rails during the Depression. He was a hobo as you might call him. I don’t like that term. I prefer railroad bum. But he wasn’t a bum! He was just a good, honest man during the depression searching for work... He had no money, so he’d travel the country trying to find work and he actually rode the rails, Uncle Hector. And he told me an interesting story. He’d go through—this is in Canada—and there’s a town called Kitchener in Canada. And the railroad cops were tough, boy. They were tougher than the real cops... They had a law of their own, the railroad cops. But there was not a railroad cop tougher than Kitchener Leslie. Oh, boy. He was well known... he was well known for beatin’ hobos to death. So the railroad bums would all hop off before they got to Kitchener to avoid being beaten to death by Kitchener Leslie. Anyways, my Uncle Hector—a good man—and he walked into a mine one day. This is a story I think young people could learn from. During the height of the depression, when there was absolutely no work, my Uncle Hector walked into... I won’t say the name of the mining company but it was MacIntyre Mine. He walked in, he had his lunch box with him, his work boots and he said, “Sir,” he said, “I want a job.” And they said, “We have no jobs.” And he said, “Well, five hundred people work here at MacIntyre Mine.” He goes, “I don’t think there are five hundred men here better than I.” He says, “As a matter of fact, I don’t think there are two hundred men better than I.” He says, “I think you’d be strapped to find a hundred men better than I.” And by golly, he got the job. What do you think of that? So Uncle Hector worked in a mine. And it’s a hellish job, the mine, as you can imagine. The darkness, you know? It’s coal infested. So he worked in the mine and by God he worked hard. And after a week of working hard, he said to the shift manager, he said, “By golly I’d like to have a lady. I work hard. Where would I find a lady here in town?” “Well,” they said to Uncle Hector, they says “We don’t have... erm... we have sex with animals here.” “By God,” says Uncle Hector, “I’m not gonna do that. Why, I’m a normal fella.” “Well then, be to your own devices then.” Uncle Hector continued working in that mine. He worked long, he worked hard, he worked for a very low wage. But he was a man. Uncle Hector, after a couple weeks passed, he started to get a little itch, as you and I might say. The ladies, you know? But he kept it under control. And again he asked, “Are you sure there’s no ladies here?” “No, we have sex with animals.” “Ah, my God.” Six months passed and Uncle Hector couldn’t take it any longer, he told me. He said, “By God, I’m just a man. I’m weak, you know? I’m not a saint. I was born in sin, I suppose, and I couldn’t resist. I just needed it.” So he said he walked by a pasture and there was a pig. So Uncle Hector said, “Well,” he said, “I walked up and I began having sex with a pig.” And he said, all of a sudden, he saw all the miners around him, looking at him. They go, “Uncle Hector, what the hell are you doing over there?” And Uncle Hector’s like indignant, he’s like, “What? Why, you’re the guys that told me that you have sex with animals!” They’re like, “Uncle Hector, you damn fool! That’s Kitchener Leslie’s girlfriend!” Of all the animals he's with Kitchener Leslie’s lady!

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Author:	shirtless driver [ Tue Jan 30, 2018 10:34 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
Yo momma so ugly, when she gives head, it counts as anal.

Author:	IkeSouth [ Tue Jan 30, 2018 10:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
Something about god being pissed at Adam for taking eve swimming in the ocean

Author:	tommy [ Tue Jan 30, 2018 10:39 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
Why did the blind man fall down the well? Because he did not see that well.

Author:	Don Tiny [ Tue Jan 30, 2018 11:31 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
What kind of wood floats? Natalie Wood

Author:	newper [ Tue Jan 30, 2018 11:33 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
tommy wrote: Why did the blind man fall down the well? Because he did not see that well. "I'm cured!" said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.

Author:	Jaw Breaker [ Tue Jan 30, 2018 11:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
A young husband and wife were sunning on a nude beach when a bee buzzed into the woman's vagina. The husband covered her with a coat, pulled on his shorts, carried her to the car and made a dash to the hospital. After examining her, the doctor explained that the bee was too far in to be reached with forceps. He suggested the husband try to entice it out by putting honey on his penis, penetrating her and withdrawing as soon as he felt the bee. The man agreed to try, but because he was so nervous, he couldn't rise to the occasion. "If neither of you objects," the doctor said, "I could give it a try." Under the circumstances, both agreed. The doctor quickly undressed, slathered on some honey and mounted the woman. The husband watched with increasing alarm as the doctor's thrusts continued for several long minutes. "Hey, what the hell is happening?" "Change of plans," the physician panted. "I'm going to drown the bastard!"

Author:	Nas [ Tue Jan 30, 2018 11:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
shirtless driver wrote: Yo momma so ugly, when she gives head, it counts as anal.

Author:	FrankDrebin [ Tue Jan 30, 2018 11:59 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
Jaw Breaker wrote: A young husband and wife were sunning on a nude beach when a bee buzzed into the woman's vagina. The husband covered her with a coat, pulled on his shorts, carried her to the car and made a dash to the hospital. After examining her, the doctor explained that the bee was too far in to be reached with forceps. He suggested the husband try to entice it out by putting honey on his penis, penetrating her and withdrawing as soon as he felt the bee. The man agreed to try, but because he was so nervous, he couldn't rise to the occasion. "If neither of you objects," the doctor said, "I could give it a try." Under the circumstances, both agreed. The doctor quickly undressed, slathered on some honey and mounted the woman. The husband watched with increasing alarm as the doctor's thrusts continued for several long minutes. "Hey, what the hell is happening?" "Change of plans," the physician panted. "I'm going to drown the bastard!" He must have graduated from Michigan St.

Author:	Big Chicagoan [ Wed Jan 31, 2018 12:23 am ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
Three men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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Author:	Terry's Peeps [ Wed Jan 31, 2018 1:25 am ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?

Author:	Spaulding [ Wed Jan 31, 2018 1:55 am ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
How can you tell if some one is ticklish? Give them a test tickle.

Author:	C_Howitt_Fealz [ Wed Jan 31, 2018 5:23 am ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
This buxom young woman went swimming in the ocean. A large wave came and tore off her bikini top. She came out with her arms covering her chest. Just then little Johnny ran up to her and said, "Lady, if you're going to drown those puppies, I'll take the one with the brown nose."

Author:	shirtless driver [ Wed Jan 31, 2018 8:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
yo momma so salty, her blood type is Kikkoman.

Author:	Walt Williams Neck [ Wed Jan 31, 2018 8:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
Darkside wrote: Because if they had 4 they'd be chicken sedans. What you got, son?

Author:	Don Tiny [ Wed Jan 31, 2018 9:24 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
Yo momma's so fat, she come down the Soul Train line on two channels.

Author:	Chus [ Wed Jan 31, 2018 9:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
Don Tiny wrote: Yo momma's so fat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnCeZY6nxjQ You said your mama was pretty and young, but she's old as dirt, and got hair on her tongue.

Author:	tommy [ Wed Jan 31, 2018 9:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
Yo mama so fat that when she sittin' around the house, she sittin' around the house

Author:	shirtless driver [ Fri Feb 23, 2018 12:28 am ]
Post subject:	Re: You know why chicken coops have 2 doors?
What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick. If the grey house is on the north side of the street, and the blue house is on the south side of the street, Where is the white house? Washington DC