These stories are much better than the ones about your flights.

I don't know if I'd want to go there. If not for your personal connection would you recommend it or recommend it over other places in Europe?

It isn't Rome, Paris or London, but what is? I won't even try to make that argument. I think it can stand tall with most of the rest of Europe in terms of interest (although I have a personal love of Spain). Prague was all the rage in Euro travel and might still be. It certainly matches Prague and exceeds what the rest of Czech and Slovakia have to offer. Switzerland has scenery but I like history with my scenery. I'd put it on the level of Germany in terms of travel destinations: historical significance, charming cities and beautiful nature experiences. Is it a must? Probably not but I'd rather go there than, say, Amsterdam to get baked, drink beer and see Anne Frank.

Everyone falls over themselves to go to Ireland. I understand, it is a place of origin for many and most of this dipshit country is afraid to go anywhere that doesn't speak English and offer a Chili's. I enjoy Ireland. Poland is superior in just about every respect as a tourist destination in my estimation.

My suggestion for Europe destinations:

1. London- get your feet wet on your first visit to Europe with something that is Europe but certainly nothing that will shock the system
2. Rome- this is THE spot but the pace and cultural barriers will have your head spinning on a first go
3. Paris- as wonderful as advertised but this isn't a city for kids so by your third visit to Europe, everyone will be old enough

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

I took this exact same vacation a couple tears ago. Good times. I loved Krakow. Auschwitz was haunting....except for the one Caller Bob in our your group. I was looking for an unopened can of gas.

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-- source

What did you think of the walk down the salt mine? Thankfully there's an elevator up. We would have lost half of our group, if not. And that underground church is amazing. Didn't they say there were like 30-40 active churches down there back in the day?

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-- source

Day 5: Krakow to Zakopane

I had a well thought out plan. That must be understood if you are to appreciate the misery of my story, friends.

I was going to let everyone sleep in while I walked over to the train station to pick up a car from Avis. In my mind during the planning, I would stroll through old town, getting in some exercise while seeing sights while the city slept. Maybe I'd grab a pastry from a bakery and watch the world go by.

Blow me Euro Avis!

I was running late so I had to take a cab rather than walk. No problem, it was probably a little farther than I expected anyway. I still got there early and was ready to get my car...except Avis doesn't actually have a presence at the train station. I was running around this huge station with a mall attached looking for any indicia of Avis. I checked and re checked the address from the website and they are supposed to be there. I checked the confirmation and I was booked to pick up at the station. No one at the station spoke English it seemed. I popped into a hotel (but you usually only find flop house type places right next to train stations) and they had no idea what Avis was. I showed police and information booth people the logo and the address but nothing registered. Finally a late arriving young worker at a more remote information booth got in to work. He told me cars are rented from the general parking lot. Now I had passed that place at least 10 times in those hours. There are no rental signs and there is nothing indicating rental. It looks like a pay parking lot, which it is. However, I ran over and...still no one there. I came back to the booth and asked if he could maybe call Krakow Avis for me. He did. Apparently, they are not at the station. You are supposed to call them and they will send someone over to get you. However, they don't have a phone at the station. They don't have a desk at the station. They don't even have a sticker on a wall telling you that they are there....and, of course, they don't tell you that info when booking the car.

I was steaming and they knew it so they sent some flunky stoner coming off the night shift to service me. I could have yelled at him but to what end? Avis corporate will be getting an earful but that doesn't help me now. I just blew half a day of a tight schedule. Adjustments will be needed.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

That is one of the reasons I didn't do this whole thing as a tour. I am fairly sophisticated traveler and I wasn't going to live by a schedule set for old(er) farts who couldn't handle my more intense pace.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

My father was in the 103d Division when they liberated a camp in Bavaria called Kaufering. He never talked about anything he saw there.

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Communists are just people who are terrible at capitalism.

I finally got the car and now I have to get the route back to my hotel. The most direct would be through old town...except you cannot travel through old town without paying a license. The fastest route is circuitous...and about ten minutes before I got on it had major accident. Ooofah! It was like a movie where a person under pressure can hear the clock ticking as he sits there waiting. I'd love to tell you, fair readers, that I remained calm...that no ethnic slurs were uttered...that no female drivers were verbally abused. I'd really love to tell you that.

But, I finally got back to the hotel after noon. You'd think a woman whose known me for my entire adult life would know better than to ask right out of the box "Where were you?"

Calm was eventually restored.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

The whole lie about "just following orders" never rings true with me. From the top down, they knew what they were doing. They knew it was wrong. They tried to destroy the evidence when the jig was finally up. I don't simply give them a break and call it Nazi atrocities. I'm not a big believer in hell as punishment. I am all for each and every one of those death camp people to be brought to justice no matter their age.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

I promised myself there would be no Mc Donalds on this trip. However, we were so late and street food is surprisingly scarce, so we did have to make a stop on the road to Zakopane. I limited it to something small like a cheeseburger. My oldest step up to the counter and orders a Big Mac. I lost my shit. It was clearly one of those moments where I was transferring anger and I apologized.

The drive was beautiful: Mountain terrain with small villages of farmers harvesting hay and cows grazing by the roadside. It is a two lane road most of the way but it was well maintained.

We stayed at a place called Bambi. No it wasn't named after a stripper. It was named after the Disney character. I imagine they will be getting a call from lawyers one of these days. It was a cute little wooden house in a neighborhood of traditional wooden houses. Charm on steroids.

Zakopane is all about the outdoors so, even though it was late, we got out. We took a ski lift up Mt. Gubalowka. It is a small mountain and easily accessible to even basic hikers so it was a good start. We hiked. I cannot properly describe the beauty of the mountains. It is so different from my experience. Think of it like the opening scene to Sound of Music. Then we took a funicular down to the market at the base of the hill. I have already told you my market story.

My wife was spending decent sized money in search of a coat. Meanwhile, I'm haggling with a guy over $2 difference on a locally carved wooden figure worth about $10. It's the hunt that matters.

The kids wanted goralla hiking sticks. They have an axe on them and I knew where this would go but I go one in the same market when I was there age so I wasn't going to deny this.

_________________
O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

We were exhausted and hungry. Zakopane is a ski town and they have a commercial street like you would see in most ski resorts. However, the restaurants were really bad. I stuck to the basics with some kind of ham steak with onions and potatoes. It didn't suck but it was overpriced and not good. Meanwhile, my youngest was bitching up a storm and couldn't find anything on the menu. I needed the break and took him to the hamburger place across the street while we were waiting for our food.

We did some hiking around town and through our b and b neighborhood that had the historical houses. Something about the way they carve that wood just make you feel comfortable.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

"HEY KIDS , LET'S GO TO AUSCHWITZ!!"

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Hatred and fear powerful emotions. I don't know how they could do it though.

Hey kids, lets go to Gettysburg, Pearl Harbor, a Plantation.

It's history. Are you supposed to avoid it? They certainly have seen some of the stuff on History Chanel

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

"HEY KIDS, DADDY SPENDS HOURS AND HOURS OF HIS LIFE ON A MESSAGE BOARD OBSESSED WITH ANOTHER GROWN MAN WHO IS WAY MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN DADDY!"

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-- source

And yeah, gd, that was our first trip to Europe, so while I didn't enjoy the group tours, I'm glad we did it for the initial voyage. Ireland last year was all on our own schedule.

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-- source

"HEY KIDS, YOUR DADDY WAS OBSESSIVLEY FOLLOWING SOME ONE WHO SPENDS HOURS AND HOURS OF HIS LIFE ON A MESSAGE BOARD OBSESSED WITH ANOTHER GROWN MAN WHO IS WAY MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN DADDY"

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