"LET THE PARAMEDICS SORT EM OUT "


Alvin Mack is one of my favorite movie characters ever. He was the Captain and All American LB at Eastern State University. Alvin was on the road to NFL superstardom, when fate decided to say "Hey Mack...BOHICA". A terrible leg injury ended his career. His mother will never get the house to go with door knocker he gave her

One wonders what could have been...

Alvin Mack
I gotta believe, had he not been hurt, Alvin would have been drafted around in the top 5 depending on team need. He would win Defensive Rookie of the year and Defensive Player of the year his first two years. He becomes a Ray Lewis type.


Fat Guy from Parker Lewis
Now the guy from Parker Lewis Cant lose, who was the offensive lineman, he is the first pick of the 2nd rd. He ends up winning 4 super bowls

Darnell Jefferson
Darnell Jefferson probably goes mid first round the next year. After holding out until week 6, he signs and joins his team. He starts that week and his teammates hate him. His first game he fumbles on 3 of his 6 carries and sits the entire 2nd half. Eventually he wins his teammmates over with his Breakaway speed, and ends up rushing for 987 yds in 10 games.

Unfortunately, he gets caught up in an extortion case from his high school girlfriend who gave birth to his son while he was a freshman at ESU. She ends up stabbing him in the calf in a scuffle. The injury ruins his leg and breakaway speed. He is out of the league in 2 years.

Ray Griffin
Ray doesnt get drafted. He becomes a doctor and opens up a private practice in the suburbs with his wife and 2.2 kids

Lattimer
Lattimer and his roids probably bought him a spot in the 4th or 5th round. Hailed as a guy with "a motor" and loved by white trash fans of his team, he ends up very average, but a decent special teams guy.

Joe Kane
Joe Kain is an interesting case. He's a drunk. But hes gotta cannon and the it factor. His "lets put the women and children and bed and go lookin for dinner boys "is valued by NFL scouts.
He probably doesnt win the heisman the next year, as he and Darnell split the vote and the support of ESU alumni. He goes 19th overall and spends a year behind an aging QB. By the time he gets his chance, he's just a guy. Ends up with Kerry Collins like career.

Tim Wayman
#1 Overall pick. Heisman Winner. All the tools. Wins big games. Michigan ended up undefeated that year, but were screwed as they were one of 3 undefeated teams. The matchup with a very average Notre Dame team in the Fiesta Bowl and win 56-3.
The screwing of Michigan makes Wayman a hero and National Treasure. He is drafted by the Raiders and leads them to a 12-4 record as a rookie and takes them to the AFC championship game. He wins 4 Super Bowls in his career.


I like stuff like this. Post similiar fictional projections here if youre a geek like me.

Where did Neon Bodo, Ricky Roe, and whatever Penny's name was end up?

Did the Major league Indians ever win a title? If not when is Taylor fired? Does Vaugn end up traded at the deadline?

Did Roy Hobbs retire after the game?

What about Coach Tony D and Steamin Willie Beamen? Did they have success with the expansion team?

Was Teen Wolf allowed to play in the NCAA?

Or anything else you wanna project?

Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger:
Unbelievably goes undrafted and ends up pumping gas at a South Bend Texaco.

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This has had me laughing for about 10 minutes. Just invoking the name of Parker Lewis is awesome. Kubiak in the NFL takes it to another level though..

I always wondered how the players from Playmakers on ESPN would have projected and also Shane Falco from the Replacements...the RB would've at least done better than Lawrence Phillips, Shane Falco would be the only player with a name better than Joe Flacco..

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Shane Falco is Tommy Maddox

Spike Hammersmith: A promising college and potentially pro football career is cut short after a grueling regiment of carrying refrigerators on his back as a youth creates a debilitating back injury. Later convicted of domestic abuse.

Junior Floyd: Kicked off coach O'Shea's football team after impregnating "the Icebox".

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Fire Phil Emery

He REALLY kinda is..

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His dad wouldnt even hire him

Jack Elliot comes out of retirement and gets picked up by the St. Louis Cardinals where he get "a little help" from new hitting instructor, Mark McGwire. Jack also convince his former teammate, Max Dubois to joint the team as well. They break the record for most home runs and Rbi's as a team duo in a season. They come under the intense scrutiny that they are on HGH and retire again under the advice of McGwire. Jack moved back to Japan to help Bobby Valentine coach the Yomiuri Giants. Max signs as a free agent with Cleveland where he unexplicably, can't hit the curve ball and goes on to put up average numbers, due to what most people guess, is due to his lost connection with Mark.

if we are going to evoke the name Shane Falco, don't we need to include Johnny Utah in the conversation as well?

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I had to google that. Luckily I never saw Mr. Baseball. I still like your projection though.

Jimmy Chitwood is the leading vote getter in the preseason Collegiate All-America team.

B&B spend a week ridiculing the selection.

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https://twitter.com/DrKenCast

It is a corny movie. You should see it if you are bored and up for a laugh or two. What I should of said is that Max Dubois (who is played by Dennis Haysbert) moved to Cleveland had cosmetic surgery, and changed his name to Pedro Cerano to escape the public

im not a "laugh out loud at the computer" kind of guy, but that did it.

yeah.

Hickory is a town full of meatballs

They thought that Boyle had higher potential

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Raoh: At this moment, I'm more powerful than you ever were. I am fist of the north star.
Ryûken: I don't agree and I never shall. Go and do what you must Raoh, but never set foot in this dojo again!

In a prequel to Napoleon Dynamite, we follow the career of Uncle Rico. Star at Highland High School, two-year all american at Ball State, and Super Bowl MVP for the Chicago Bears. Then he turns to sports radio where things take a turn for the worse. He then has to live with his two loser nephews and sell tupperware.

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The Kicker would have had a good carrer until he got caught up in a point fixing scheme.
I still think the movie would have been a ton better if you take Falco out of it and put more time into the others.

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When I am stuck and need to figure something out I always remember the Immortal words of Socrates when he said:"I just drank what?"

Do I even need to mention the greatest running back in Chicago High school history?I mean he scored 4 touchdowns in one game.

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When I am stuck and need to figure something out I always remember the Immortal words of Socrates when he said:"I just drank what?"

Adams College


Stan Gable / All American who was projected to go high in the NFL draft but slipped into the 4th round after word spread he lacked the cockiness that once made him fearless on the field. Rumors of depression over breakup with girlfriend dogged him for years. Had a short stint in the USFL after his NFL career fizzled out. Currently coaches High School Football.

Fred "The Ogre" Palowakski / Kicked off the Adams football team for repeated team violations regarding its alcohol policy under new coach. Participated in a few NFL training camps before finding some success with CFL's Toronto Argonauts where he crossed paths with Doug Flutie. A knee injury caused his early retirement which then led to an unsuccessful attempt at pro wrestling. Currently is the strength and conditioning coach at Grand Lakes University in Wisconsin.

Danny Burke / Although a standout wide receiver at Adams, Burke lacked the speed to translate to the pro game as a wideout. Signed as undrafted FA by Seattle, a move to H-Back and a dedication to special team play resulted in six year career with the Seahawks. In 2007 was brought in as the ceremonial 12th man for a home game against San Francisco. Currently resides in Tacoma where he writes poetry.

Coach Harris / Gained fame as one of the youngest coaches to head a major Division One program in the early 1980's. Anger issues and a physical altercation with the school's Dean of Students led to his dismissal and subsequent, in his words "Blackballing" by other Universities. Coached offensive line for the University of Idaho after leaving Adams, where he coached former NFL player Mark Schlereth and current Oakland Raider head coach Tom Cable. Cable credits Harris for teaching him everything he knows about football and life. Currently works for the California State Corrections Office.

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Raoh: At this moment, I'm more powerful than you ever were. I am fist of the north star.
Ryûken: I don't agree and I never shall. Go and do what you must Raoh, but never set foot in this dojo again!

Someone needs to do the guys from Varsity Blue.

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When I am stuck and need to figure something out I always remember the Immortal words of Socrates when he said:"I just drank what?"

A.C. Slater


A.C. Slater / Three sports standout at Bayside High where he was one of the most sought after recruits of his generation. Shocked the athletic world when he opted to attend a small California University that recruited him under the premise he would get to work one on one with former NFL defensive lineman Bob Golic. Struggled both academically and athletically after discovering that yes in fact, he was Mexican American despite being told otherwise throughout his childhood years. Retired from the sports world and took up Activism on campus. Found fame on the reality TV circuit after graduating and recently was profiled in People magazine for his decision to open up about his homosexuality.

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Raoh: At this moment, I'm more powerful than you ever were. I am fist of the north star.
Ryûken: I don't agree and I never shall. Go and do what you must Raoh, but never set foot in this dojo again!

Roy Hobbs - comes out of nowhere. Never played in the minors. Never played organized baseball of any kind. Signs with the New York Knights and ends up being picked up by the Cubs after getting a bizarre call from Jimmy Piersall saying that this old fella can still play the game, but he insists on using his own bat. Lou agrees to sign him.

Hobbs gets a break after Milton Bradley runs into the wall in right field. Hobbs is inserted and leads the Cubs to the playoffs.

Hobbs is facing down CC Sabathia in the 5th inning of the 7th game of the World Series and the Cubs are trailing 6-4 with 2 men on base. Hobbs hits a blast into deep right field but it goes foul. His bat is shattered.

The umps grab the bat before Hobbs gets a chance to pick up the pieces. There seems to be some rubbery looking substance everywhere. Wonderboy alright...

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Does your cat make too much noise? Try KITTEN MITTENS!


Charlie: Oh shit. Look at that door dude. See that door right there? That door marked 'Pirate'? You think a pirate lives in there?
Dennis: I see a door marked 'Private.'

Good Effort Dave...but this exercise is taking the movie and continuing or prequeling it. Roy Hobbs played organized ball. Its a fact.

Writers Embellishment ala David Letterman - but fixed to fit the theme.

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Does your cat make too much noise? Try KITTEN MITTENS!


Charlie: Oh shit. Look at that door dude. See that door right there? That door marked 'Pirate'? You think a pirate lives in there?
Dennis: I see a door marked 'Private.'

Without rules there is chaos

FIXED

APPROVED!

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Does your cat make too much noise? Try KITTEN MITTENS!


Charlie: Oh shit. Look at that door dude. See that door right there? That door marked 'Pirate'? You think a pirate lives in there?
Dennis: I see a door marked 'Private.'

because we all know that Milton wouldn't subject himself to possibe injury if he can help it.