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 Post subject: The Ringer
PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2016 1:57 pm 
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Bill Simmons new website recently launched.

https://theringer.com/

Looks like a much shittier version of Grantland so far. I'll check out some of the stuff from time to time.

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2016 2:04 pm 
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I miss the Barnwell/Mays podcast.

Barnwell is such a pussy now.

Mays' new partner sucks.

As long as there's Simmons/Sal podcast I'll recover somewhat.


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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2016 2:15 pm 
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Hmm, the Joe Buck story was ok. I hate the guy, so the article hit home.

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2016 2:16 pm 
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I enjoyed my first three articles.

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2016 2:22 pm 
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IMU wrote:
I enjoyed my first three articles.

You would.

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2016 2:36 pm 
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I'm going to tickle the hell out of you next time we meet.

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2016 2:41 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2016 7:06 pm 
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IMU wrote:
I enjoyed my first three articles.

Any good pasta salad recipes yet?

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2016 7:30 pm 
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Waiting on his new HBO show in a few weeks.

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2016 10:30 pm 
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newper wrote:
IMU wrote:
I enjoyed my first three articles.

Any good pasta salad recipes yet?

I have a syndicated food blog they can use. Call me, Mr. Simmons.

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2016 11:17 pm 
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Who won the rematch? Did BigFan show? I had money on IMU; cuz I can't resist betting on a longshot.


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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 11:40 am 
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God damn that website sucks.

Terrible opinions from people who are just looking to suck at the teet of whatever crap is currently popular.

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 11:42 am 
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sjboyd0137 wrote:
God damn that website sucks.

Terrible opinions from people who are just looking to suck at the teet of whatever crap is currently popular.

Image

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 11:53 am 
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sjboyd0137 wrote:
God damn that website sucks.

Terrible opinions from people who are just looking to suck at the teet of whatever crap is currently popular.

I've gotten so exhausted with all the talking points of the Smart Sportswriting Consensus that I'd almost rather read Telander now.

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 11:56 am 
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Curious Hair wrote:
sjboyd0137 wrote:
God damn that website sucks.

Terrible opinions from people who are just looking to suck at the teet of whatever crap is currently popular.

I've gotten so exhausted with all the talking points of the Smart Sportswriting Consensus that I'd almost rather read Telander now.


Ehh...I'd give up sports before going to that well...

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 12:39 pm 
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Quote:
The Winners and Losers of Kirsten Dunst Dating Jesse Plemons


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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 8:12 pm 
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With how petty Simmons has been against ESPN (some of it is justified), I'm surprised he didn't name it Lantgrand or Page 3 or "The Ocho" or something like that. I mean stop denying that it is Grantland 2.0 and just go with it. I mean they did do some good stuff - especially the long form writing. Embrace it.

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2016 6:21 pm 
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https://theringer.com/jennifer-garner-c ... .85pgcdqa9

Congratulations to the Ringer for its first OH JESUS CHRIST JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY column!

Quote:
Jennifer Garner for Capital One is my favorite TV series currently on-air.

No shots at Broad City, or Veep, or Black-ish, or Game of Thrones. No shots at BoJack Horseman, or The Americans, or Transparent, or Better Call Saul. (NO SHOTS EVER AT NARCOS — NARCOS KEEP DOING YOUR THING. PROMISE ME. NARCOS, DO YOU PROMISE.) But what’s happening on Jennifer Garner for Capital One right now is something special.

And we should talk about it.

The first thing we should talk about is the Venture Card itself. I’m kidding — we 100 percent should not talk about that. I know nothing about the Venture Card. I mean, I literally know nothing about it. Maybe it’s awful? I really hope not! But we don’t ever need to talk about it, because it doesn’t matter.

To be clear: I would write this if the Venture Card were a “you might die”–era Chipotle coupon. I would write this if the Venture Card were one of those brands of niche mid-’90s cigarettes designed to entrap healthy teens (I mean, of course I would — hot people just want to smoke and date and play pool by the ocean all day, and who’s to stop us). I would write this if the Venture Card were a trial membership for one of those cults that seems really charming at first (vegan menu? Dope) but then suddenly the next thing you know you’re in the bathroom of the internet cafe from The Beach and looking over your shoulder and swallowing a mailbox key in a locked stall as you tattoo a set of coordinates to your hip bone and Google “Jennifer Garner + get my life back” (11,000 results). I would write this … no matter what.

And that’s the point, really: Jennifer Garner for Capital One … is not about Capital One. It’s important to understand this at all times. No one knows what Jennifer Garner is selling. No one knows, and no one cares, and it’s fine.


OH JESUS CHRIST JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY

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The second thing we should talk about is

nope nope nope there's not gonna be a second thing or a third thing or any more things. We're done here. I literally cannot go on. I won't finish reading.

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2016 6:24 pm 
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:lol: :lol: :lol:

What?

On a separate note, "And we should talk about it" belongs in the Annoying Words and Phrases thread.


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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2016 6:39 pm 
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"No one knows, and no one cares, and it’s fine" is among the Grantlandiest sentences around. Any variation of "but x is not really about x" might be the Grantlandiest sentence around.

Does Dave know about the new URL? Might for the best if he doesn't because this Jennifer Garner crap may kill him.

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 6:23 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
"No one knows, and no one cares, and it’s fine" is among the Grantlandiest sentences around. Any variation of "but x is not really about x" might be the Grantlandiest sentence around.

Does Dave know about the new URL? Might for the best if he doesn't because this Jennifer Garner crap may kill him.


I didn't even get as far as you did. I decided to check it out purely out of morbid curiosity, saw the Jennifer Garner headline, and immediately pulled a

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 6:51 pm 
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I went back for more

Quote:
In “Out of Reach,” she is challenging: “What’s in your wallet? (Prove it.)” In “Grand Illusion,” reassuring: “What’s in your wallet? (Whatever it is, it’s fine.)” In “Websites Galore,” casual: “What’s in your wallet? (I mean, it’s just a wallet.)” And in “Seats Roll Out,” yes, flirtatious: “What’s in your wallet? (I mean — you don’t have to tell me. If you want to tell me, you can tell me. If you told me, then I would know, and it would be our secret. I do think we’d love having a secret. I like to imagine that we’d talk about it sometimes. Just us, of course. A whisper, a little laugh, when no one else was around. Maybe over some wine. Only a glass, I think — you know, that kind of night. Sometimes we would text about it. Short texts, quick ones, not too late. I bet that we would text each other back really promptly. ‘What’s in your wallet?’ I’d ask you, and then you would tell me. You would know I already know but it wouldn’t matter.)” In Jennifer Garner’s hands, “What’s in your wallet?” isn’t selling — it’s asking. And it becomes something else entirely.

It becomes language.


This is an atrocity. How much does Bill Simmons get to sign off on this shit?

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Sat Jun 11, 2016 1:03 am 
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People join bandwagons because they convey the subjective feeling of winning. The Warriors are the perfect bandwagon team for the post-internet era. Their bandwagon is light-years ahead of everyone else’s bandwagon. It’s a self-steering electric intelliWagen that gets 1,000 miles to a charge, has built-in Wi-Fi, and speaks with a decisive, yet nonthreatening, voice. Elon Musk is furious that he didn’t think of it.

When you sink into the soft, ergonomically perfect, handcrafted leather seats of the Dubs’ bandwagon, and watch the razor-crisp LCD nav-screens snap to life like you’re on the deck of a spaceship, the vicarious thrill of dominating an opponent is amplified by the seductive, scalp-tingling high that comes from knowing you’re smarter than him, too.

Rooting for the Warriors is buying Microsoft shares in 1990; it’s being in the room at Bletchley Park when Turing broke Enigma; it’s getting to name-drop Steph Curry (the most relatable superstar who grew up the rich son of an NBA player ever) and be on a first-name basis with the most famous sports toddler in the game. To roll in the Dubs’ wagon is to feel that you’re not just rooting for a great team, you’re making the game of basketball better.


Why are they doing this to me? Why? This is painful!

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2016 2:20 pm 
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Article titles pulled from the front page.

Goodbye to the Hottest ‘Game of Thrones’ Villain
Yes, like sexy-hot

Lady Gaga’s Star is Reborn
Grading the Gaga–Bradley Cooper pairing — and the rest of the week’s biggest Hollywood decisions

The USMNT’s Game With Argentina Means Everything and Nothing
Beating Messi won’t change the state of U.S. soccer

If the NFL Ever Fields a Softball Team, This Should Be It
Walter Thurmond isn’t the only football player who can hit dingers

:lol:


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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2016 3:24 pm 
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"x Means Everything and Nothing" is another stock premise in Simmonsland.

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2016 9:36 pm 
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https://theringer.com/the-startup-chemi ... .u2myq42mj

Quote:
The Startup Chemistry of the Milwaukee Bucks
How Giannis and Co. will disrupt NBA stardom


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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2016 11:15 pm 
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For all that people say about Johnny Knoxville, none of it good, The Ringer was actually a somewhat decent movie mostly because I love Katherine Heigl.

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 Post subject: Re: The Ringer
PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2016 12:05 pm 
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Guessing the Lines with Sal carried over to the ringer. I was worried Sal being employed by ABC/ESPN would prevent him from being on the show.

One of the few podcasts from Simmons I still enjoy.


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