This is but the first in a series of team evaluations by the great Mr.Pickles. Let Mr.Pickles give you real inside knowledge, knowledge pro-football teams themselves do not have.

The Detroit Lions.

Offense:

This is the part that has Mr.Pickles puzzled. See the Lions has a considerable amout of talent on this side of the ball, and a talented offensive genius, in Mike Martz,( he would be the first to tell you), but something just does not wash...

Come, let us explore...

Mike Martz- A ex-Super Bowl coach, who did not win. A offensive wizard? Hmmmmmm..Now who's offense did Martz use during the Rams golden age? ###### Vermeil's? Don Coryalls? Now with the talent the Rams did have, should they not have won more championships? Is Martz going to turn around this team? The answer is no. This is another Millen blunder which will be a cancer. Martz cannot co-exist with Martinelli.


Quarterbacks.

John Kitna, Josh McCown. Two career back-up journeymen. More like highwaymen, stealing money from the Detroit fans.
Mr.Pickles sources indicate the Lions are in talks with Eric Hipple, to bring him back. Just for competition.

Running Backs.

Kevin Jones. Mr.Pickles is not sold on this guy. First off he cannot stay healthy. Second, everyone brings up his much ballyhooed string of 100 yard game 2 years ago. A string against weak teams with even weaker run defense's. At least with him being on the roster, Chris Berman will always bring up his potential, so Millen does not look bad Mr.Pickles ventures.

Wide Reciever.

With so many 1st round picks invested in this position, Mr.Pickles fearlessly labels this the strength of the team.

Roy Williams. Has the makings of a elite reciever but can't stay healthy.
Charles Rodgers. Has the makings of a elite reciever but can't stay healthy. Or sober for that matter.
Mike Williams. Has the measurables of a elite reciever, but is more of a "project". Where is Don Zimmer when you need him, Popeye loved working on projects.
Then again, rumor has it Williams has gained a considerable amount of weight, and those Zimmer meal deals at Popeyes chicken might not be good.
Marcus Pollard. Past his prime. Non-factor.

Offensive line.

Dominic Raiola is not the next Olin Kreutz. Or Jerry Fontenot for that matter.
Jeff Backus. Decent player. No more, no less. No greatness here, NEXT.
Damien Woody. Ever notice that the Patriots don't let important players get away?

All in all, Mr.Pickles see's the Lions offense as threatening to be the worst in the league. Mr.Pickles will go out on a limb and profess the Packers offense is superior, Mr.Pickles means they have Farve, right?

Next up the Lions defense, stay tuned.


Mr.Pickles tip of the day #5:

Mr.Pickles has been to Detriot once. Only for a bathroom break. Mr.Pickles left Detroit something to remember him by...

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This is but the first in a series of team evaluations by the great Mr.Pickles. Let Mr.Pickles give you real inside knowledge, knowledge pro-football teams themselves do not have.

The Detroit Lions.

Defense.

Bringing in new head coach Rod Martinelli will no doubt bring in the vaunted cover-2 scheme, used by Tampa Bay and the Chicago Bears.

But for the Cover-2 to work you need talent.....


Defensive line.

Shaun Rodgers- Rodgers is talented, and a All-Pro caliber player but...He's not made for the cover-2. He also cannot stay healthy, a recurring theme for this team, steroids?

Shaun Cody- Another USC bust just waiting to happen. Another Millen blunder.

Dan Wilkinson- This guy is still cashing a paycheque? See raise your children to be the first pick in the draft, you can live quite comfortably, as seen here.

Kalimba Edwards- Kalimba? Sounds like a veneral disease. Or a spanish dance. Mr.Pickles will leave that up to the reader to decide.


Linebackers.

Ernie Sims- First round draft pick, with speed , a nose for the football, and a mean streak. Also a history of concussions. Mr.Pickles gives him 8 weeks before he starts signing his autograph with a big fat X.

Teddy Lehman- No not martial-arts superstar Jeff Speakman, linebacker Teddy Lehman silly. Another player who cannot stay on the field.

Boss Bailey- Another player, ANOTHER PLAYER WHO CANNOT STAY HEALTHY. Mr.Pickles thinks there should be a investigation.


Secondary.

Dre' Bly-Has not done much to earn his #1 corner contract has he. Think hes been injury prone.

Fernando Bryant- Injury prone. Mr.Pickles likes the name "Fernando", though.

Jamar Fletcher- What is it with Millen signing people who cannot play football?

Terrence Holt- Decent player. Did Millen pick this guy?

Conclusion:

Mr.Pickles see's this team as having the worst offense, and defense in the league.

By week 5 all their defensive starters should be on IR. So if any of you guys want to play pro football, Mr.Pickles suggests hiring a agent, their gonna need some help.

Sound like a pipe-dream, no, Millen will take anybody, he's proven that.


Mr.Pickles rates the Lions on the Mr.Pickles threat level,(patent pending)
1 out of 5.
1 being, bring in the rookies, 5 being, we may have to game-plan.

Mr.Pickles tip of the day #6:

Mr.Pickles thinks rap music is for homo-sexuals.

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I don't agree with everything you posted here but it would be appreciated if you made more posts like this.

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Experience is like drawing without an eraser

Oh yeah Dynasty, I'm rearranging my FF draft draft board now. Kitna and McCown are journeymen? Wow! Roy W and C Rogers can't stay healthy? Who knew? K Jo gets a lot of nicks and bruises and the jury is still out on him?. I had no idea. And the Lion O-line sucks? Fascinating.

The Lions O-ffense has a bunch of talent at the skill position? Inside knowledge nobody in the NFL has, eh?

Sounds to me like poofy is a fanball.com subscriber.

You mean more posts where he calls you a "homo-sexual"?

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I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out. - Bill Hicks

Let's do it for Johnny!

I only read the first one. I thought the second post was a duplicate. However, considering all the bullshit he has posted in the past, I would call that progress.

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Experience is like drawing without an eraser

Mr. Pickles, you missed addressing the coaching change. I remind you of this only because it is going to be relevant in analysis throught the beloved's division.

Waiting for Grid Iron and/or Noots...

thats coverage

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