It is currently Fri Mar 29, 2024 12:00 am

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 25 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 9:55 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 29, 2007 11:17 am
Posts: 72289
Location: Palatine
pizza_Place: Lou Malnatis
Chill the fuck out and wait a second and you won't look all awkaward and stupid to the people exiting the elevator.

_________________
Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 9:58 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 18, 2012 9:33 pm
Posts: 18863
pizza_Place: World Famous Pizza
FavreFan wrote:
Chill the fuck out and wait a second and you won't look all awkaward and stupid to the people exiting the elevator.


Hit the close door button next time you come across one of these people.

_________________
Seacrest wrote:
The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 10:00 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 29, 2007 11:17 am
Posts: 72289
Location: Palatine
pizza_Place: Lou Malnatis
SpiralStairs wrote:
FavreFan wrote:
Chill the fuck out and wait a second and you won't look all awkaward and stupid to the people exiting the elevator.


Hit the close door button next time you come across one of these people.

It happens constantly at my work and it's always when I'm getting off the elevator. I work in an office building with hundreds of other people, and there's always an idiot rushing to get on and looking shocked that someone is trying to get off first.

_________________
Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 10:06 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:50 pm
Posts: 16060
pizza_Place: Malnati's
FavreFan wrote:
SpiralStairs wrote:
FavreFan wrote:
Chill the fuck out and wait a second and you won't look all awkaward and stupid to the people exiting the elevator.


Hit the close door button next time you come across one of these people.

It happens constantly at my work and it's always when I'm getting off the elevator. I work in an office building with hundreds of other people, and there's always an idiot rushing to get on and looking shocked that someone is trying to get off first.


Just tell the offender you're an off duty cop and that he should do everything you say. Should do the job.

_________________
Successful calls:

Kyrie Irving will never win anything as a team's alpha: check
T.rubisky is a bust: check
Ben Simmons is a liability: check
The Fields Cult is dumb: double check

2013 CSFMB ROY


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 10:07 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2015 9:13 am
Posts: 17588
Location: BLM Lake Forest Chapter
pizza_Place: Quonset
Same goes for the EL.

_________________
Don Tiny wrote:
Don't be such a fucking chump.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 10:12 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 29, 2007 11:17 am
Posts: 72289
Location: Palatine
pizza_Place: Lou Malnatis
GoldenJet wrote:
Same goes for the EL.

Good point. 10x worse in that scenario

_________________
Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 10:23 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 8:52 pm
Posts: 12657
Location: My Pants
pizza_Place: Geo's Pizza
Yep, the EL is ridiculous. Since I'm 40 now, I just started bowling people over on my way out.

Working in high-rises for a while now, the elevator etiquette thing seems simple and confuses the fuck out of me at the same time.

- I'm not letting women get off first. Who the fuck made this etiquette up? Last in, first out. Wait your fucking turn like the rest of us.

- The asshole who HAS to press the close door button sixty-five times after he gets on the elevator, even if people are still coming in the elevator.

- People who hit the up/down arrow BEFORE the doors have closed. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Then the elevator is already full and they either give you a dumb look or they try to squeeze in, because hey, they are fucking dicks.

- Holy shit, you don't get cellphone reception in the elevator! Guess what? You don't have to talk louder so that the person can hear you better. Related to this, don't have a meeting on the elevator. I don't give two shits about your TPS report problems.

- You have an entire elevator and yet you are shoving your ass right in my crotch.

- If you fuck up and hit the wrong button, own up to it.

- If you aren't crippled and there are stairs five feet away from the elevator, you better not get on the elevator and only go up/down one floor, because I'm going to kick your fat, lazy ass out.

I think that covers it.

_________________
The Original Spanky wrote:
I don't like white rappers.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 10:27 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 29, 2007 11:17 am
Posts: 72289
Location: Palatine
pizza_Place: Lou Malnatis
^Post of the year

_________________
Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 11:00 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jul 28, 2007 1:23 pm
Posts: 16779
pizza_Place: Little Caesar's
GoldenJet wrote:
Same goes for the EL.

Image


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 5:34 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 6:55 am
Posts: 6456
pizza_Place: Giordano's
Crystal Lake Hoffy wrote:
Yep, the EL is ridiculous. Since I'm 40 now, I just started bowling people over on my way out.

Working in high-rises for a while now, the elevator etiquette thing seems simple and confuses the fuck out of me at the same time.

- I'm not letting women get off first. Who the fuck made this etiquette up? Last in, first out. Wait your fucking turn like the rest of us.

- The asshole who HAS to press the close door button sixty-five times after he gets on the elevator, even if people are still coming in the elevator.

- People who hit the up/down arrow BEFORE the doors have closed. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Then the elevator is already full and they either give you a dumb look or they try to squeeze in, because hey, they are fucking dicks.

- Holy shit, you don't get cellphone reception in the elevator! Guess what? You don't have to talk louder so that the person can hear you better. Related to this, don't have a meeting on the elevator. I don't give two shits about your TPS report problems.

- You have an entire elevator and yet you are shoving your ass right in my crotch.

- If you fuck up and hit the wrong button, own up to it.

- If you aren't crippled and there are stairs five feet away from the elevator, you better not get on the elevator and only go up/down one floor, because I'm going to kick your fat, lazy ass out.

I think that covers it.



This guy gets it


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 5:39 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 21, 2006 6:57 pm
Posts: 88693
Location: To the left of my post
Great nomination. The only caveat is for idiots on elevators that hide on the side when empty and pop out like Chris Hansen once the doors fully open.

Why are you standing in the only area you can't be seen?

_________________
You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 5:54 am 
Offline
Site Admin
User avatar

Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2010 10:00 am
Posts: 76674
Location: Chicago Heights
pizza_Place: Aurelio's
Crystal Lake Hoffy wrote:
- I'm not letting women get off first. Who the fuck made this etiquette up? Last in, first out. Wait your fucking turn like the rest of us.


Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I have to disagree with this one. I usually let the women off first, but there are common sense exceptions, like when the elevator is full and I'm right against the door. Sometimes it doesn't make any sense to jockey around to allow ladies first. In that case you're correct.

_________________
His mind is not for rent to any God or government.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 5:55 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 02, 2011 4:29 pm
Posts: 39604
Location: Everywhere
pizza_Place: giordanos
FavreFan wrote:
Chill the fuck out and wait a second and you won't look all awkaward and stupid to the people exiting the elevator.


+ 1 :cheers:

_________________
We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.

-Ronald Reagan


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 5:57 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 02, 2011 4:29 pm
Posts: 39604
Location: Everywhere
pizza_Place: giordanos
Boilermaker Rick wrote:
Great nomination. The only caveat is for idiots on elevators that hide on the side when empty and pop out like Chris Hansen once the doors fully open.

Why are you standing in the only area you can't be seen?


:lol: This too.

_________________
We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.

-Ronald Reagan


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 6:01 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon May 02, 2011 4:29 pm
Posts: 39604
Location: Everywhere
pizza_Place: giordanos
I have another pet peeve regarding elevators. I work in a ten story building and my lab is in the basement. Not many of us go down on the elevator but obviously I do all the time.

At least three times a week there is the dope that doesn't pay attention and gets on the down elevator when they intended to go up. When that happens they they say "oh, duh, sorry" and proceed to try to press the open door button and try to get off the elevator to get on a another to go up.

No dumb ass. Yo are now delaying me due to your stupidity. You must wear your idiocy and stay on and ride down before once again going up.

_________________
We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.

-Ronald Reagan


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 6:24 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 6:55 am
Posts: 6456
pizza_Place: Giordano's
Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
Crystal Lake Hoffy wrote:
- I'm not letting women get off first. Who the fuck made this etiquette up? Last in, first out. Wait your fucking turn like the rest of us.


Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I have to disagree with this one. I usually let the women off first, but there are common sense exceptions, like when the elevator is full and I'm right against the door. Sometimes it doesn't make any sense to jockey around to allow ladies first. In that case you're correct.



If the elevator isn't full, you let women and children off first. 100% agreed.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 7:41 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 22, 2006 3:55 pm
Posts: 31946
Location: Wrigley
pizza_Place: Warren Buffet of Cock
The Shabbos or Shabbat elevator may be a solution to this problem.

_________________
Hawaii (fuck) You


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 7:55 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 28, 2006 9:29 am
Posts: 64436
Location: Darkside Estates
pizza_Place: A cat got an online degree.
I hate stupid questions in elevators.

I used to work downtown. Gettinv in in the lobby at least once a day someone would say "going up?"

So once i finally said no today im going sideways. Got a confused look but she still boarded the elevator and up we went.

_________________
"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014
bigfan wrote:
Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 8:26 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Nov 15, 2008 8:26 pm
Posts: 3355
Location: Far East 'burbs.
pizza_Place: Pasaro's, St. Joe, MI.
I move right up to the door inside the elevator as my floor approaches (ours is rarely ever full to crowded status). When the doors open and the onrushing horde sees my ogre-like visage the instant the doors crack apart, they often fall back in horror and I can exit comfortably without having to act like the pulling guard on an end around. Otherwise, I have been known to say aloud "off, THEN on". Likewise, I press the button and then step back, so I am not tempted to rush on to the plant elevator, only to see the timid office building ass clown unsure if they are at the floor they need to exit (one of only four the plant elevator services).


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 8:35 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2006 9:15 pm
Posts: 48754
Location: Bohemian Club Annual World Power Consolidation Conference & Golf Outing
pizza_Place: World Fluoridation Conspiracy Pizza & WINGS!
Image

_________________
https://twitter.com/DrKenCast


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 8:39 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Nov 15, 2008 8:26 pm
Posts: 3355
Location: Far East 'burbs.
pizza_Place: Pasaro's, St. Joe, MI.
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:
Image



He's staring a hole in my soul!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 9:59 am 
Offline
100000 CLUB
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2006 6:17 pm
Posts: 101542
pizza_Place: Vito & Nick's
Take the stairs, fatty.

_________________
ltg wrote:
[Fields will] be the starting QB on an NFL roster at the start of next season. Book It!
Caller Bob wrote:
There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:32 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:16 pm
Posts: 81627
Boilermaker Rick wrote:
Great nomination. The only caveat is for idiots on elevators that hide on the side when empty and pop out like Chris Hansen once the doors fully open.

Why are you standing in the only area you can't be seen?

Finishing their fucking text usually


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2018 12:12 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 29, 2007 11:17 am
Posts: 72289
Location: Palatine
pizza_Place: Lou Malnatis
It's getting worse. Happened twice to me today already. People are dumb animals.

_________________
Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2018 12:20 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2013 2:12 pm
Posts: 2860
pizza_Place: maciano's
Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
Crystal Lake Hoffy wrote:
- I'm not letting women get off first. Who the fuck made this etiquette up? Last in, first out. Wait your fucking turn like the rest of us.


Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I have to disagree with this one. I usually let the women off first, but there are common sense exceptions, like when the elevator is full and I'm right against the door. Sometimes it doesn't make any sense to jockey around to allow ladies first. In that case you're correct.


Or if she has a nice ass so you can watch her walk out. Chivalry and all.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 25 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group