I had jury duty today across the street from the future home of the Bears’ wasted $200m.

Sat in a room for several hours before the elderly woman in charge of the jury room informed us that court was cancelled and we could go home. Really earned my $35 for the day.

The best part is that early in the day, they show a video describing the ABCs of what it means to be a juror. Most of it was Timothy Evans reading cue cards. The middle third was a lady quipping about various elements of jury trials over a laugh track and some bad actors.

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Second worst Pauly Shore movie.

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i'm 42 and the only time i was asked to serve, i was out of town. I want to at least do it once.

Yeah, me too. I'm even older, pay every kind of of tax, vote in every election, and have never been called for jury duty.

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one of the few fringe bennies of having a felony...jury duty?

Do your civic duty commie

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They won’t let us insurance guys on a jury….but have been called twice.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

I showed up. Some asshole litigators wasted hours of my time.

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When I first turned 18 and registered to vote I got a jury summons. I was excited. Called the night before as instructed and was told I didn't need to go in. Never been picked since. Even if I was I wouldn't make it on the panel. Lawyers don't want lawyers on a jury.

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I spent yesterday gaming out how right wing I had to be in order to avoid selection.

All for naught.

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I was on a jury for a murder trial about 10 years ago. The courthouse on California. Young black kid on trial. I think he was 20. Gang banger. Shot another kid in the street, in the day, in front of a bunch of witnesses. He was owed money from him. Probably a drug deal but that wasn't made clear. Didn't matter. Easy to find him guilty. He did it. But I felt bad for him. Felt bad that I was putting him away for life even though he deserved it. Then the judge told us afterwards that he was already serving life for another murder he was convicted of a few months prior.

I know. I know i'll get stuck with some BS long drawn out crap. But every jury duty experience my buddies have had have all been hilarious. I generally had no care but once my good buddy had to be in a jury on a case where a guy stole 3 tires from a tire shop and represented himself, its all I want to do.

Basically the guy showed up to court wearing the exact outfit that was on the surveillance video of him ROLLING THE 3 TIRES DOWN THE STREET. he called basically everyone to the stand and began accusing them of racial profiling. The judge had to bang his gavel a few times. I'm like that would be the life.

This never happened

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For my whopping $18 a day you'd have thought the insurance defense lawyers wouldn't have wanted me there. Half a million later on a simple med mal, I bet he picked better juries.

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There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

I served once in McHenry County...Real Estate agent fell in someones basement during an open house, and was looking for a shitload of money...we the jury found the prosecution to be found guilty of being a douchebag...and for the defendant (although we only said the last part out loud). Very interesting, would do it again if I wasn't working.

I'm also 1-0 defending myself in court (against a Pedestrian Railroad Crossing fine that would've cost me $500)

I'm like Matlock basically

Been called close to 10 times. Only one I that I had to show up for was Kane County and it was really close to my 21st birthday. Made it to the box and was dismissed. If only I had seen Rob Roy (It was the only question I was asked before prosecutor thanked me and excused me). Lake County called me 8 months later since on my new DL I had an Evanston address but I was already in Montana. Kane might of called me again but that can't be right. It's been a while here, I'm sure Im due as it was every other year there for a while.. Hopefully not for that murder case that is bond to go trial one of these days. Prefer the calling in on Monday and being told there are no jury cases scheduled.

they won't let me on either, but for the opposite reason.

But this is just civil Denis, if you get called for criminal your insurance excuse won't be the get out of jail free card you were hoping it was.

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thank for your service!

Signed,
The Plaintiffs' bar

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I'm generally a civic duty guy, but younger Nas repeatedly avoided jury duty. Now that I want to right my wrongs, they don't want to ask me.

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Nas: Blago, who has single handedly destroyed CFMB?

Blago: https://youtube.com/shorts/Lftdxd-YXt8?feature=share

"You can’t love your country only when you win." -President Biden

https://youtu.be/R6e4ruziZBI?si=1G4W1vbh0eGQuHfU

i was on a grand jury last year from June through end of August. I actually enjoyed it. Nice excuse to not have to work every Tuesday for a few months.

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'Your AT&T Universal Card has arrived'? Oh God, Kick-fucking-ass, I got a Master Card! I don't believe it, man. Life is kinda cool sometimes.

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Same here. One time I even got a summons from the sheriff that if I didn't show up a squad car would come get me. They never came. Never got a summons since.

We live less than a mile from that courthouse.

Every time my wife is summoned, seemingly once every other year, it is to 26th and California. Which you cannot get to from Arlington Heights. So she always finds a way to duck it. But if it was Rolling Meadows or even Skokie she would get herself there.

I on the other hand for some reason am never summoned.

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"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."

Damn it. I jinxed myself, got a letter today that I have been called.

Got called once. I said I was working. They said no problem bye and never called me again.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.