Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls it's Sunday, and it's time to vote for some douchebags!
Last week's winner was Dennis Hastert, who has recently been in a bit of a sticky wicket for sticking his wicket into, well, whatever it is his wicket is sticky for. He will be entered into the Douchebag of the Quarter Semi-Final in 11 weeks, vying for a spot amongst the Douchebag elite for a shot at the honorable Rod R. Blagojevich Douchebag of the Year award! Wow. Exciting stuff.

This weeks entries include reasons why you can't murder pets, spmack on many levels, over procreating hypocrites and spmack. Without further delay, here they are:

People Driving 20 MPH in Left Lane: This nomination comes from conns7901 (oh yeaaaaaah!!!) who apparently encountered a slow moving vehicle on Harlem Ave, which, naturally must have been driven by a woman as we all know that only drunks and women and drunk women drive like that. And probably spmack. This kind of thing is dangerous. And douchey. If you agree, vote!

dog murder laws: ikesouth wants to murder something. Anything. He's got this whole murder thing that he wants to do. In this case, he's decided on murdering his neighbor's dogs. Because they do something so un-doglike that it's completely incomprehensible. Something so unnatural that it must be stopped. Something so disturbing the likes of which are never seen. They bark. At him. Now the problem here isn't the dogs... it's the laws which prevent him from legally murdering these dogs. Stupid laws. Thank GOD that ike always follows laws.

The fucking ice cream truck: All right. I admit it. I have fond childhood memories of these things. My favorite was Bubbalo Bill. A lovely stick of ice cream in the shape of a cowboy with a bubble gum nose. I bet spmack would love to lick a cowboy. But this nomination from Darkside is more about the goddamn truck and it's loud ass music. I can hear the prick from like 6 blocks away. I can't fucking think with this monstrosity in the goddamn neighborhood. It's horrible, and awful and it needs to be stopped. Immediately.

The Duggars: So there's a bunch of them. And they hate gays. And trannies. Which means spmack is gonna be on their shit list. But they're cool with their son diddling their daughters. That's ok. Just don't be gay. Or tranny. Chus is right on the mark with this nomination. These people... really? They're famous because they don't know how to use a goddamn rubber? Fucking pricks!

8th Grade Graduation Parties: Our society has begun to celebrate mediocrity. We expect everyone to graduate 8th grade, even though spmack didn't. So why do we have parties to celebrate graduation from learning basic math and grammar? redskingreg was invited to such an event, and we recommended that he not attend due to the fact he had a prior obligation to scoop the dog bombs in the backyard. Or is redskigreg the only one not having any fun, like the douchebag from Billy Madison that won't enjoy the biweekly graduation parties? Are these parties signs of douchebaggery? Please vote!


Please vote carefully. This is your fucking civic duty as a member of the board.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Slow week I go 20mph.

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8th grade graduation. Who cares. Move on to HS scholar.

Franklin.

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Sex isn't dirty, sex isn't a crime. It's a loving act between two or more consenting adults.

-Hank Kingsley

I understand from a professional teacher in Chicago that to give a kid an "F" is a shitload of paperwork.

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

Spmack

Yuup.

FWIW I didn't vote for my own entry. But I still hate that fucking ice cream truck.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

This had the potential to be tough week but my vote came down to what are the alternatives?

Ice Cream Truck? That's a weekly nomination category, particularly on those glorious Sundays when one is trying to take in a nap outside.

8th Grade Graduation Parties. Any excuse to have a party is a good excuse. And considering this may be the last time the honoree isn't considered some jaded, narcisstic teen that exhibits too many loathsome teenlike qualities it becomes an opportunity not to be squandered.

Dog Murder Laws should easily be trumped by stupid dog murderers. The laws are needed to protect them from theirselves.

People in the left lane Almost got the nod because I'm married to such a driver. The left lane means nobody passing on the left so no need to use the mirrors. Now, had you included driving too slow in the left lane while looking at a cell phone screen, that would have tipped the balance.

The Duggars Oh shit, the family that are too hilljacky to understand contraception now has a problem with the oldest liking to put hands on lady parts without permission. People who like to invite cameras to their dinner table are likely to wind up with some kind of incident that may be embarrassing, the question is whether or not it will make the director's cut. He's a perv, he's our perv, if we can forgive him you should too.

This gets my vote.

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DRINK BƎTTƎR. @theRIPH

People that don't like the ice cream truck are Grade A jackasses.

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Rick Hahn is the best GM in baseball.

I love you guys, too.

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My vote was the "fucking ice cream truck." This fucking thing plays jingle bells, jingle bells... jingle all the way! in the fucking summer. My daughter said, "daddy, the ice cream truck is coming!" I said, " ice cream truck? I thought Santa has finally lost his mind and forgot what month it was." Then a couple weeks later, my daughter comes running in the house, "daddy, can i have money for the ice cream truck?" All I hear is "twinkle twinkle little star" coming from down the street. I tell her no, last time it cost me $2.25 for a fucking red,white and blue popsicle. We can get a whole box of that shit for 3.75 and you can eat it all summer. Tell that Twinkle little motherfucker to not come down this street blasting Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Jingle Bells with over priced ice cream and expect me to buy some. Off course I ended up spending 15.00 on ice cream that day because the wife and kids wanted some.

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2018
#ExtendLafleur

You know what you're a Grade A jackass.
The truck is fine. It's the goddamn 120 db noise coming from the fucker that drive me crazy.

That being said, when this fucker came down my street at Lakemoorfest I think we ended up spending over $100 amongst us.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014