You really can't make this stuff up.



It is easy to criticize LeBron James(notes) for the way he handled free agency, but sometimes when you're a 25-year-old multi-gazillionaire you have to star in a one-hour tone-deaf television special explaining that you want to play basketball with your besties down by the beach. That's just how these things work sometimes. Necessity is the mother of bad television programming, as they do not say.

While LeBron said a lot of weird things that night, one thing he was adamant about was his love for his hometown of Akron. No, not Cleveland, but specifically Akron, assumedly because he is an enormous fan of female kangaroos in varsity sweaters (who isn't?). As such, LeBron has done the sensible thing and thanked his legion of fans in the Rubber Capital of the World — no, not Cleveland —nearly four weeks after breaking their hearts with a full-page ad in the Akron Beacon-Journal. Here's the text, courtesy of the Cleveland Plain-Dealer:

"To My Family, Friends and Fans in Akron:

"For all my life, I have lived in Akron -- and for that, I am truly a lucky man.

"It was here where I first learned how to play basketball, and where I met the people who would become my lifelong friends and mentors. Their guidance, encouragement and support will always be with me.

"Akron is my home, and the central focus of my life. It's where I started, and it's where I will always come back to. You can be sure that I will continue to do everything I can for this city, which is so important to my family and me. Thank you for your love and support. You mean everything to me."

He then signed "LeBron" at the bottom of the ad.

Perfect little bit of PR. Sure, it doesn't thank anyone in Cleveland, doesn't mention the Cavaliers and is 3 1/2 weeks late, but other than that LeBron nailed it. Very well-crafted and well thought out, just like "The Decision." And hey, free fake autograph — you're welcome, Akron.

Maybe a Cleveland-centric advertisement is in the works and we don't even know about it, but I think this letter tells us everything we need to know about how LeBron views Cleveland. Basically, Akron's his home — or, maybe not — and Cleveland's just a place he worked. If that's how he feels, then this is the exact thing he should have written. I mean, I would never write a letter to my living room, even though that's where I work (also, living rooms can't read since they are non-sentient). But just a day after seeing Zydrunas Ilgauskas'(notes) perfect example of a farewell letter, this seems a bit off, which seems to be LeBron James' strategy this entire summer.

Or maybe LeBron is just a little too scared of addressing Cleveland fans through a flammable medium. He looked more than a little rattled when he saw images of his jersey being burned, so it stands to reason that he wouldn't want to provide kindling for another LeBronfire.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_d ... nba-259925

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as bad as lebron looks in all of this the fact of the matter is he did this to cleaveland. anyone not from cleaveland would screw cleaveland in half a blink. lebron really didnt do anything wrong besides join his friends and mess up the competition. and even thats not that bad, because once kobe beats those assholes all will be well.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Exactly.

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

Fans still have not gotten over LeBron James' decision to leave Cleveland for Miami. He recently went to an amusement park in Cedar Point, Ohio and was heckled while shooting a basketball.

"I bet you miss," a woman said.

"Bron, shoot left-handed; your elbow hurts!" a man said.

Reportedly he missed all three of his shots. "Just like Game 5," another person

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i think that is one area where lebron might not ever get that good at... his shooting has never been stellar, and now with all the distractions and weight on his shoulders he could easily get bad at shooting. and sure, he can start driving the ball more, but there are always ways to stop that.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=5470162

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

oh. my. fucking. god.

i just read that article, and i have just went from thinking lebron is a great talent but a little immature, to thinking he is a complete, total, giant throbbing dickhead.

those comments in that link are unbelievable. i cant believe lebron is that fucking stupid.... wow. just fucking wow. this guy has instantly become the KING of DOUCHEBAGS.

........ god damn, not much surprises me, but if you read that link....

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Lebron is a nice person.

maybe they criticize him because they don't know him well.

there is a saying don't judge the book by its cover.

i think we should not do that. we must know the person first before

giving our judgment.

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Dave | Stephen | Jefferson

You might just be the worst poster ever.

And I thought Nashova came back.....

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Fuck you; that's why books have covers in the first place. For instance, if there's all kinda titties and dicks on the cover, then it's probably not Tolstoy.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

PJ FunnyBunny wasn't very nice to HoneyBunny FunnyBunny. It's not nice to not be nice to the nice.

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We all have private ails. The troublemakers are they who need public cures for their private ails.- Eric Hoffer

So, you know LeBron??????????????????????????

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

FunnyBunny is a Bot right?


Sweet Juicy! You guys are making fun of a robot!!

how about some LeBron headphones. on sale!

http://cgi.ebay.com/SkullCandy-NBA-Hesh ... 825wt_1154