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PostPosted: Sat Sep 12, 2015 9:44 pm 
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kissrules73 wrote:
sjboyd0137 wrote:
Stoke is not good at really anything.


Kind of described Chelsea's season so far.

Back 4 old and bad. I'm looking at you Branislav Ivanovic.

Fabragas bad. Costa bad.


Chelsea has looked like dogshit this year...been kind of fun for a non-Chelsea fan.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 3:40 pm 
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funny that you mention cesc fabregas, KR.... not only was last summer one where i had to deal with a lot of bitching and groaning gooners who were pissed that arsenal didn't utilize/activate/whatever their supposed first-dibs on a buyback clause to "bring cesc home", but i also had to watch cesc have one of his usual recent seasons (good to very good in the first half, basically invisible and almost a complete 0/nothing in the second half) and then go on to with the prem with chelsea, which of course was met with LOLs from the usual arsenal haters and even a few moans-n-groans from arsenal fans who evidently didnt pay too much attention to chelsea throughout the season and thus noticed that cesc once again totally disappeared in the second half of the season, just like had done almost/every-year at barcelona.

...and now he's starting to carry over his awful form to the first half, as is evidenced by these stats from chelsea's last game:

Image

yeah, all of a sudden it's looking like arsene might actually know best on this one, eh?

welp >we (arsenal) got our 3 against stoke and now it's off to dinamo zagreb on wednesday to kick off the CL group stages. normally any team named dynamo/dinamo is associated with the europa league and thus it should be an easy victory, however you never know with those russian/ukraine teams if they have some thing where an english team hasn't won there since the reign of queen victoria (shakthar donesk is the big one like that) but outside of that whatever. the big test will be on saturday when arsenal faces chelsea at 645am....

obviously arsenal beat chelsea 1-0 in the david moyes memorial shield (community shield) and since then arsenal had their slow-to-shit start to the season dropping 3 vs west ham, settling for a draw against liverpool, and then an own-goal 1-0 victory against CP.... and chelsea is having issues. whether it's the curse of eva as the topic suggests or whether it's mourinho's act wearing thin in year 3 (cuz i dont think he's spent over 3 years at one place? or maybe his first chelsea stint has been 3 years, but otherwise he's got a ~3 season shelf life cuz he comes in and 1) gets the team going good 2) goes off and wins some major trophy/trophies and is hailed as arguably the best manager in the game and 3) what you're seeing now at chelsea ---- he wears on his players, who get sick of his shit.... maybe his style of anti-football wears down the players or they get sick of parking the bus and "if we score we win" football and when you combine that with jose being a moody cnut and blaming everyone but himself when he always has a stacked team expected to contend for europe, let alone his league..... yeah he leaves in a huff and ends up going to the next team ready to win and looking to get over the hump.

costa isnt going out and scoring like 8 goals in his first 3-4 games, and there's talk that he likes to go out and booze it up too much while his form is dipping.... supposedly the players loved eva and are pissed at jose for banishing her (for all we know maybe her massages / therapy had the happiest endings of all? ;) and jose is pissed that cech was able to go above him to roman and get the move to arsenal where he can stay in london (and strengthen a rival.... but hey at least its not like courtois will get hurt or anything, riiiiight? =) and now cesc is doing his 2nd half disappearing act in the first half and KR73 was talking about ivanovic and suddenly john terry is looking very old and chelsea was throwing like 35mil+ at everton for stones so not only have they failed to get him, but they also likely hurt the confidence of guys like cahill and zouma and whoever they grabbed for 4mil cuz if the defending champs are that desperate to get a first team CB what do you think of the ones you've got? eden hazard is supposdly trying to score more and that's got him off of his game, and hey they let schurrle and de bruyne and mata go so they've got oscar and willian there.... but they tried throwing 27mil at cuadrado and that didnt work out as he quietly/meekly went out on loan a 1/2 season later, and now they went and pipped manutd to signing pedro (tho valdes was prolly telling him about the megalomaniacial LvG experience and that didnt help) and i reckon chelsea is going to find out why barcelona was keen to acquire/start alexis sanchez and later neymar and suarez (tho he's more of a striker) when they had pedro the whole time.

seriously if pedro was all that and a bag of chips why was barcelona always trying to add wingers/strikers/attackers to have the best attack in the world? didnt they have pedro? isnt he la masia (barca's youth academy) through-n-through? or perhaps is he simply excellent squad depth and basically he was barcelona's welbeck? time will tell i spose.

so yah, even tho chelsea is in shambles and whatnot and this is just about the best time to catch them (cuz they DO have a CL fixture to get right during the week here, and it's against tel-aviv FFS so i mean sheeeeeit, unless they get false confidence against a tomato can....) i still fully expect them to deny arsene victory #2 over jose and take the much-needed 3pts.

of course i'd love to be wrong and see arsenal take 3, especially at home, but i doubt it because the law of averages dictates that chelsea is simply too good to be too shit for too long and jose's record over arsene speaks for itself. unless arsenal can stop being mental midgets for a day and chelsea can continue their tailspin, it's gonna be like FUCKIN ELL M8 as >we prolly give them the impetus to save their season and finish higher than >us when it's all said and done.

...but i could be wrong. and i'd love to be wrong. please god can i be wrong? can arsenal win on saturday and really fuck them up and hopefully give mourinho the gift of time off during the holidays? hey i loaded up th daily mail just now and see chelsea denying rumors of a terry/costa row so a man can dream can't he?

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 3:42 pm 
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West Ham is looking pretty legit today......
P.S. Fuck Chelsea.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 4:24 pm 
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sjboyd0137 wrote:
The problem is that Arsene wants it to be rocket science. He tries to be too conservative and defend, like he's still playing to tie when he has some outstanding attacking weapons at his disposal.


LOLWAT?!?!?


are we watching the same guy/FC here? i remember last year when arsenal was having those "barnstorming tours" against sides like burnley in the PL where they'd be up 2-0 or 3-0 in the 75-80'+ territory and sub on theo so they could all bomb forward and try to put up more goals for the fans at the emirates.... and then they had a similar situation vs anderlecht in the CL group and despite a 3-0 lead they were still bombing forward down the stretch and they ended up blowing it and finishing 3-3 with good ol paul merson and graeme souness tearing into them on sky sports ("how can you have people bombing forward when you're up 2 goals in the final ten to fifteen minutes?" -- simple, they were in their barnstorming tour / offensive showcase mode) and yeah, shoot, it was only after that in the new year that the arrival/emergence of coquelin helped arsenal shift gears into being a team that put more emphasis on defense and maintaining their lines as opposed to always bombing forward trying to score some pretty goals.

and uhhh, if anything arsene's historical refusal to manage for the 1-0 bus-parking/shutdown type game = why arsenal often has nice sides with flashes of top top top potential, but consistently finishes 3rd/4th and thus gets their CL berth so they can make it out of the group into the RO16 for ~14 straight years or whatever, but when they come up against more/talented sides with a proper gameplan against arsenal they struggle to cope/adapt/respond because arsene's tactics are often said to be nonexistant.... he just lets his players play and dosnt have any solutions to the problem of quality sides coming out and successfully executing a gameplan against arsenal, which is why sometimes when they run into that they don't just get beaten.... they get beat the fuck down (2-8 @ManUtd, 1-5 @liverpool, 3-6 @city, 0-5 @chelsea come to mind)

but hey, i could be off because i'm still a relative football-proper n00b so i'm not going to say you're definitively wrong.... only that i disagree with you on that one... but hey, sheeeit, we'll see something on saturday morning as arsenal faces chelsea again for the first time since that glorious win over chelsea in the 2015 David Moyes Memorial Shield (community shield) -- you know, the victory that gave us this timeless image:

Image

ahhhhh that was glorious man. that was just so perfect given the teams involved, the managers involved, arsene never beating jose before, and of course the score...... one-nil to the arsenal, eh? =D

regardless, i know we're on the same side here re: arsenal and no matter what the absolute truth is re: arsene's strategy or overmanaging or the lack thereof.... let's just hope-n-pray that we can have at least one more goal than chelsea come ~845-850am saturday morning. that would be the greatest gift of all cuz not only would it bestow some legit confidence in the lads, but it could also help to show mourinho the door by christmas..... are you listening god? =D

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 17, 2015 7:04 am 
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Mourinho may be headed for a breakdown. He sounded insane after the Everton loss and in the days leading up to their CL match with Tel Aviv. I'm thinking he won't last the season.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 17, 2015 10:22 am 
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sinicalypse wrote:
sjboyd0137 wrote:
The problem is that Arsene wants it to be rocket science. He tries to be too conservative and defend, like he's still playing to tie when he has some outstanding attacking weapons at his disposal.


[size=150]LOLWAT?!?!?



are we watching the same guy/FC here? i remember last year when arsenal was having those "barnstorming tours" against sides like burnley in the PL where they'd be up 2-0 or 3-0 in the 75-80'+ territory and sub on theo so they could all bomb forward and try to put up more goals for the fans at the emirates.... and then they had a similar situation vs anderlecht in the CL group and despite a 3-0 lead they were still bombing forward down the stretch and they ended up blowing it and finishing 3-3 with good ol paul merson and graeme souness tearing into them on sky sports ("how can you have people bombing forward when you're up 2 goals in the final ten to fifteen minutes?" -- simple, they were in their barnstorming tour / offensive showcase mode) and yeah, shoot, it was only after that in the new year that the arrival/emergence of coquelin helped arsenal shift gears into being a team that put more emphasis on defense and maintaining their lines as opposed to always bombing forward trying to score some pretty goals.

and uhhh, if anything arsene's historical refusal to manage for the 1-0 bus-parking/shutdown type game = why arsenal often has nice sides with flashes of top top top potential, but consistently finishes 3rd/4th and thus gets their CL berth so they can make it out of the group into the RO16 for ~14 straight years or whatever, but when they come up against more/talented sides with a proper gameplan against arsenal they struggle to cope/adapt/respond because arsene's tactics are often said to be nonexistant.... he just lets his players play and dosnt have any solutions to the problem of quality sides coming out and successfully executing a gameplan against arsenal, which is why sometimes when they run into that they don't just get beaten.... they get beat the fuck down (2-8 @ManUtd, 1-5 @liverpool, 3-6 @city, 0-5 @chelsea come to mind)

but hey, i could be off because i'm still a relative football-proper n00b so i'm not going to say you're definitively wrong.... only that i disagree with you on that one... but hey, sheeeit, we'll see something on saturday morning as arsenal faces chelsea again for the first time since that glorious win over chelsea in the 2015 David Moyes Memorial Shield (community shield) -- you know, the victory that gave us this timeless image:

Image

ahhhhh that was glorious man. that was just so perfect given the teams involved, the managers involved, arsene never beating jose before, and of course the score...... one-nil to the arsenal, eh? =D

regardless, i know we're on the same side here re: arsenal and no matter what the absolute truth is re: arsene's strategy or overmanaging or the lack thereof.... let's just hope-n-pray that we can have at least one more goal than chelsea come ~845-850am saturday morning. that would be the greatest gift of all cuz not only would it bestow some legit confidence in the lads, but it could also help to show mourinho the door by christmas..... are you listening god? =D[/size]


Agreed...and his overmanaging strategy has always been against the big guys.

Also, Zizou is right...at this rate, Mourinho won't last the season, and he may wind up on a shooting spree or something...that guy is unstable.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2015 7:51 pm 
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welp, a bunch has happened since last i babbled to let's get right to it!

- diego costa continues his b-side schtick (low-to-no-goal-thuggery) and manages to bait arsenal's resident archangel gabriel into getting sent off in a game where chelsea hadn't been looking that automatically-likely to carry the day (or so i heard because i woke up at 6:27am and was like "oh cool i beat my alarm clock by 10mins and i can get the lineups" but then next thing i know i look over at the clock and it says 7:48 and i'm like OHHHHHH SHIT and i scramble out to the tv-room all shirtless and boxers-clad and get the tv on just in time to make out the text saying "ARSENAL PLAYING WITH 10 MEN - GABRIEL RC 46' " and before i could even belt out an "OHHH FUCKING ELL M8" i see chelsea score on a setpiece/FK that featured some truly awesome arsenal defensive positioning, which invariably means the name on the back of my 14-15 kit: CHAMBERSSSSS!!!!!!!!!111lsjhnsdafhj)

AHEM. yet, even after that chelsea didnt look 100% certain to bury arsenal until the second RC went out to cazorla and even then it took a wonder-misdirection to get #2 home. it was at that point that any chances of a cheeky/magically-unlikely tie/point went away and thus we began a few days of media-driven referendum om diego costa. go figure that he ended up getting a 3 game ban and gabriel got off with no ban because evidently his cleats/spikes didnt make contact with costa. hey i'll take it cuz it sure seems like our rough-n-tumble archangel is first choice ahead of per mertesacker now (#CurseOfTheArsenalCaptaincy, as 2 seasons ago it was 3rd-choice-CB thomas vermaelen, then when he left last year it was second-choice-at-best mikel arteta, and now this year i think it's still technically arteta then mertesacker and then cazorla--- evidently the arsenal captaincy is something you give to an aging/declining/increasingly-surplus veteran as a means of tossing them a bone for accepting their newfound bench role)

and then yeah it turns out that thierry henry is actually an early/beta version of anthony martial (and not the other way around) as he keeps on scoring scoring scoring (he even had another one today in the milky league cup) to the point where a 75% scoring rate would be a serious decline for the kid. he's managing to outshine memphis in terms of "look at our future GOAT" and i'm sure memphis totally digs that

city took a L over the weekend and even barca got 4-1'd today in la liga, so i guess invincible/undefeated seasons are overrated anyways, eh?

today arsenal put out a relatively strong lineup for a league cup tilt @ tottenham and managed to beat them 2-1 cuz last-choice-b4-youth mathieu flamini had an unlikely brace. go figure if gala ponied up some more $$$ he woulda been gone by/on deadline day, cuz now with the emergence of le coq (who is supposedly day-to-day/game-to-game with a knee niggle, so given arsenal's recent track record with injuries thanksgiving or christmas would be a minor miracle) and arteta hanging around while you theoretically have jack wilshere and...... *sigh*, santi cazorla for the midfield (tho his RC means that the next PL game vs leicester will feature ACTUAL MIDFIELDERS IN THE MIDFIELD, as opposed to having your backup #10 cazorla out there masquerading as a CM while ramsey plays up on the RW because theo walcott's mommy told him he's a CF/striker and his mommy wouldn't lie to him now would she?) yeah flamini is someone you ideally don't wanna see out there at all, which is a bit sad considering when he first returned on a bosman(free x-fer) for 13-14 he played some pretty fucking heroic football for much of that first half of the season, giving arsenal some legit "steel in the midfield" that they've been lacking since the days of, well, vieira? go figure when you lack a BBDM you lack the steel in the midfield.

and now it's off to leicester city for arsenal, which last season was one of their season-ending early draws IIRC... i wanna say it was 3-3 and i remember thinking that they were fortunate enough to battle back and get a point? go and get 3 this time, especially if you fancy yourself to be contending for the prem (where nobody has technically said "it's off!" yet, but then again nobody really said "it's on!" either) and uhhh yeah, while looking through the usual rags for my tabloid football needs i happened across this amazing picture in the daily mail:

Image

evidently marouane fellaini has mastered the art of walking in mid air? who fucking knew? (well clearly LvG did and thats why when he's down a goal in a tight game and nothing else works he'll hoof it up to #10/#9 fellaini and earn the nickname Long Baal) but yeah not only do you have fellaini putting david blaine to shame here, but you also have the defender right next to him throwing his hands up like NUH UH.... I DONT WANT NONE OF THAT! THAT'S SOME SERIOUS HOODOO TYPE SHIT RIGHT THERE AND I AINT FUCKIN WITH THAT!!!! cuz when you see a man not only levitate but also walk in mid-air, seriously you back the fuck up before you can have some serious problems!

ah well, sorry about the usual arsenalcentric blabber, but hey in the immortal words of popeye I YAM WHAT I YAM and thus c'est la vie. onwards and upwards to saturday for a rare-for-arsenal 9am start where i can look forward to the usual dread of arsenal facing a team they should beat and having them come out and look like worldbeaters for the first 10-20' but score no goals, then their attacks start to peter out and leicester bangs home a counter circa 30-40' and goes up 1-nil with another sterling chance or two b4 the half where you feel relatively good to be down just 1 goal and start trying to envision the 2-1/3-1 type comeback in the second half which of course all goes to shit @ 0-2 so you sit on the edge of your seat dreading every solid-or-better chance that leicester gets b4 arsenal can finally muster one of their own 20' later. THIS IS ARSENAL FOOTBALL!

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2015 7:59 pm 
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oh yeah and i'd be remiss if i didnt point out that today i was witness to one of the 5 or 10 greatest posts in /arse/ history over on 4chan...

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#Word

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 25, 2015 10:52 am 
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Hey, Liverpool have more points than Chelsea at the moment, my good sir.

I know Man United is having a good start to the season and currently reside in second place in the table but there's something not quite right with that club. It's like they have no identity or I just can't quite wrap my head around who they are now. I was so used to seeing the same guys out there for years. Now, sans Pluggo Rooney, the team is just another mercenary European side. You had your Giggs, Scholes, Rio, Vidic, Evra, etc. and it was all overseen by the omnipotent SAF, who is like the complete opposite of Louis van Gaal. I despised them of course but I kind of miss that stability in a side. There wasn't 6-10 new guys every year. You could develop a real distaste for a player and his club over a few seasons. I guess Barca is really the only big club like that now.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 3:44 pm 
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you know, for this one i'm going to let manchester united fans from redcafe.net speak about arsenal:

- "That first 20/30 minutes from Arsenal is the best football I've seen in the Premiership since Liverpool a few seasons ago.

Fast, incisive, deliberate, and every single pass was absolutely inch perfect. "

- Fair play to Arsenal, they've done their job in 20 minutes and then sat back, probably could've ended up higher if they weren't such pussies.

- "Firstly, congrats to Arsenal on a superb performance. They started brilliantly and finished the game in 20mins. Excellent stuff."

- "That first 20 minutes was like getting beaten up by the soft hipster in his skinny jeans and Doctor Who scarf."

and of course

- "

Arsenal were fantastic today, both offensively and defensively. That first 20 minutes it was like they had a cheat code or something."

C'EST LA VIE, NO?!!?!

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 9:30 pm 
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I finally got to watch the match...great win for the Gunners. Fuck ManYoo

Surprised Brendan Rodgers got sacked before Mourinho at this point.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 9:37 pm 
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sjboyd0137 wrote:
I finally got to watch the match...great win for the Gunners. Fuck ManYoo

Surprised Brendan Rodgers got sacked before Mourinho at this point.


Mourinho is literally going to self combust at some time in the not too distant future.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 9:51 pm 
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Matches Malone wrote:
sjboyd0137 wrote:
I finally got to watch the match...great win for the Gunners. Fuck ManYoo

Surprised Brendan Rodgers got sacked before Mourinho at this point.


Mourinho is literally going to self combust at some time in the not too distant future.


Hopefully he does it in the coaches box.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 11:25 am 
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I didn't see Man Citeh being title contenders this year but I guess I have to adjust my sights. I like the way these guys play.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 6:35 pm 
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You heard it hear first. Despite a vote of confidence from the Chelsea board. After watching that shit show againt Southhampton (and going to Quigley's to watch the first half). I'm going to say Mourinho doesn't last the season.

Carlo Ancelotti isn't doing anything right now. Would Roman go down that road again if he sacked Mourinho.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 7:51 pm 
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kissrules73 wrote:
You heard it hear first. Despite a vote of confidence from the Chelsea board. After watching that shit show againt Southhampton (and going to Quigley's to watch the first half). I'm going to say Mourinho doesn't last the season.

Carlo Ancelotti isn't doing anything right now. Would Roman go down that road again if he sacked Mourinho.


yeah what is it with mourinho circa year 3 at most of his stops? i think the only time he lasted over 3 seasons was, what, first go at chelsea? maybe it works out something like this:

YEAR 1) HO-SAY shows up and inherits a team that's at worst top 2/3 in the league (thats how he rolls) and he introduces his revolutionary system of anti-football and results pick up. maybe they win a lesser domestic cup or something, but things are looking to be on the up and up. he delights the media with his willingness to give them imminently quotable material and fans of the team welcome him and his ultimately-anti-football ways because he gets results and there's hope for discipline. any squabbles with players/staff/ownership are seen as a demanding boss expecting excellence from everyone around him and are praised as being part of the deal that you signed up for cuz IT'S WINNING TIME. hell, @ chelsea the first time and at inter he won the domestic league in his first year, not to mention the europa league in his first year with porto, so that gets you hyped up like awwww yeah we're on the virge of greatness! THIS GUY WON THE CL WITH PORTO FFS!

YEAR 2) HO-SAY gets to mold the team in his image and ditches players who don't wanna track back and mark(defend) someone, looking for great workrates. if he's at a huge team he'll get some huge $$$ to do his thing because it's largely seen like IT'S WINNING TIME, and in year 2 he's taken that quality team he's inherited and tricked it out with some big/$$$ additions and everything comes together as the team comes together and wins the domestic league (often with ease.... didn't his RM get 100/+ points at its best?) yeah he has some beef with players/ownership/others but it's largely dismissed and swept under the rug cuz not only are you gonna win your domestic league but you're going to have a legit chance at the CL (which he's done with porto and inter, but not chelsea right? yeah indeed he's good for the CL semis at most short of his two wins) so yeah kumbaya he wins his domestic league in the 2nd year wherever he goes (seriously, look it up) and his schtick peaks with a domestic win and a CL victory or run to the semis. if he wins the CL here (SEE: PORTO/INTER) he leaves on a high note to go to a better/bigger job b4 his shit can stink, but if he sticks around this is where his schtick has peaked.... it's all downhill from here.

YEAR 3) this is where all of his bullshit starts to rise up like the daleks coming up out of the sewer to overtake skaro city in the last episode of doctor who. you can't keep throwing more and more bullshit down there without it eventually amassing to the point where it rises up to ground level. the players who have won big with him last year (if not the last 2 years) start to think that their shit don't stink cuz they did the winning, not HO-SAY, so whatever issues he's had with players come to a head. excepting his run at RM he's usually off to a slower start which likely spells doom for meeting/exceeding the lofty heights/expectations that were achieved last year, so that amps up the pressure and causes him to flip out and start to focus on the bullshit way more than he did in the past. by now ownership is sick of the little napoleonic tyrant and in the case of real madrid even tho they had a 100pt season the year b4 and once again they get to the CL semis but don't pull out back to back la liga titles cuz it was barca's turn (and this was right around the time pep's barca was at its peak, so getting 100pts and winning la liga in 11-12 was indeed !!!) and even b4 the season ended he was saying he was gone because he had seemingly divided the fandom.... here i'll let wikipedia tell you about his demise @ RM:

"In the post-game press conference after the second leg with Dortmund, Mourinho hinted that the 2012–13 season with Real Madrid would be his last, saying "I am loved by some clubs, especially one. In Spain it is different, some people hate me, many of you in this (press) room."[100] Mourinho's fraught relationships with Sergio Ramos and club captain Iker Casillas (a popular player whom Mourinho sidelined in 2013) caused divisions between fans in the "Mourinhistas" and "Madridistas" (the more traditional Real Madrid fans) camps.[99] His relationship with Cristiano Ronaldo became difficult because, according to Mourinho, the player "maybe thinks that he knows everything and that the coach cannot improve him anymore", so was unwilling to accept constructive criticism.[101] Mourinho was also criticised[by whom?] for controversial incidents, including poking Tito Vilanova (then assistant coach at Barcelona) in the eye during a brawl, continual complaints about refereeing bias, clashes with journalists and Real officials, and frequent hints that Barça received favourable treatment from UEFA."

so yeah, when he's actually made it to year 3 at chelsea and RM and now chelsea again, it seems like his bullshit has finally reached critical mass and everyone gets sick of his bullshit. he has slow starts at chelsea and you know that roman doesn't like that (you know how that dude in the movie "snatch" says you never fuck with anyone who owns a pig farm? well IIRC roman owned a pig farming INDUSTRY so yeah you really really dont fuck with him) and the pressure is on, and it seems like when there's serious pressure on HO-SAY from underachieving he's definitely not cut out for that cuz he's essentially a "rolls royce" manager like carlo ancelotti: he shows up when teams are ready to win and takes them over and turns them into glorious anti-football "if we score we win" teams that park the bus and shit on offensive flair in players, especially youth/younger players, cuz he wants guys who are ready to WIN NOW and dont mind parking the bus for 90'+ running around to anti-football it to hell and back. so yeah when pressure is mounting and the slow start dooms his squad to a fate chock full of unthinkable horrors (usually 2nd place) that's when shit gets really really nasty behind the scenes and he might be jettisoned (chelsea) or at least end up a lame duck manager by the end of the year (RM) ---- either way, he reaps what he's sowed and he's definitely sowed the seeds of his departure by amassing all the bullshit over the first 2 seasons, but it's easy to look the other way when you're winning a domestic title and looking to win the CL. once it becomes obvious you're not gonna win your domestic league and lol @ CL (tho avram grant took his 07-08 chelsea team to the CL finals, something he didnt do @ chelsea) well then it's about time for him to go cuz you figure you have the team and you figure that all he did was turn his team into bus parking specialists so bring in literally anyone with a pulse and give them jose's pimped out ride and see if they can win the drag race in a F1 car.

technically jose wasn't won shit other than a supercup/foreign-community-shield in year 3 cuz avram grant took over his 07-08 chelsea team which won the double with the league/FA.... but of course this being chelsea that FA/league cup double and a run to the CL final wasn't even enough to keep avram grant around beyond 07-08 cuz this is chelsea: WIN NOW OR ELSE. yeah.

so now @ chelsea v2.0 entering year 3 for the second time all of the bullshit that's been piling up has reached that critical mass and unlike his previous slow start this one is really damn slow and since the prem isn't as weak as it was last year (or at least city's woke up and improved enough to be a formidable 80something-90something point team) it's not like they can just default to a title unless they go on some sort of a 15 game WINNING streak, not undefeated streak. i mean yeah right now it's october 5th and they're only 10pts out which theoretically isn't impossible, but you have to go on some sort of a crazy winning streak and idk if this chelsea team can do that with costa not being the superstud he was to start off last year, cesc fabregas having one of his horrible 2nd halves starting off in the first half, and eden hazard not stepping up to be in messi/ronaldo tier/class/etc like some deluded blues might have tried to tell you over the last year or two. in the end you're coming down to willian being your only goalscorer, and i dont care what anyone says i swear to god chelsea only got willian because AVB at spurs had him in london for a medical when chelsea called up and stole him away to send AVB a message that he can only get players that chelsea doesnt want cuz if chelsea wants ANY of their targets, even during their spurs' medical, they're going to get them. so they got willian.

and i dont care what you say about willian's quality or class, man, if you didnt sign him maybe you end up giving more time to someone like, oh i dont know, kevin de bruyne? yeah he was a pouty lil bitch @ chelsea wanting some opportunities essentially handed to him, but still when the guy left he did his thing @ wolfsburg and left for 50mil+ after 1 season. there's some fucking quality there that's beyond willian/ramires/oscar/etc..... but chelsea HAD to get willian just to remind AVB of his place as forever in mourinho/chelsea's shadow, so they got willian and there goes de bruyne and really who needs a pouty bitch like him when actually playing turned him into a 50mil+ player? will.i.an. til th day i die!

so yeah TLDR and i'm sure i'll go back and delete this later, but it seems like HO-SAY (jose, but the brits pronounce it HO-SAY) has a 2 year shelf life, cuz that's basically about how long everyone can tolerate his megalomaniacial bullshit and his "mindgames" and all of his dictatorship because they signed a deal with the devil (if not the devil you know @ chelsea) because they say winning is everything and ho-say DOES get results if you give him one of the 3-5 best teams in the world.... but then usually after winning for a year or two everyone gets sick of his shit and thinks "man what do we need him for? we've got the team to win it right here and if we actually let the $$$$players$$$$ play some positive/attractive football not only will they enjoy life that much more but maybe we could be even better? --- and then when year 3 @ chelsea starts off with them shitting the bed to the point of no domestic title and lol yeah right in the CL and ppl were wondering if putting up with jose's shit is worth it even when they're winning, well it's a no brainer that you're not going to put up with his shit when you're falling short of (admittedly lofty) expectations, right?

not to mention there seems to be an effect where 1-2yrs of anti-football bus parking seems to adversely affect players who are then shellshocked and ineffective when chelsea has to overcome a deficit in a game, seeing as they're set up for "if we score we win" 1-0 type games, if you're down 0-2 or even 1-2 after 30-40' chelsea isn't necessarily one to go and get those 3 quick goals consistently enough.... and then this year you've got ho-say making headlines getting rid of chelsea's fuckbuddy doctor eva for doing her job and causing headlines that way, you've got him always sniping at arsene cuz he's gotta be insanely jealous of arsene (cuz arsene is beloved and even tho he doesnt win a trophy for ~10yrs he's still considered a beloved transcendental figure by his club and a lot of his fans.... meanwhile ho-say is merely tolerated ONLY cuz they're winning. so in a sense arsene is the antithesis of ho-say cuz mourinho dreams of being able to be so entrenched as "the man" at a job he could go 10yrs without a major trophy and have no job security issues whatsoever.... if he goes 6 months without a trophy he's pleading for his job in postgame prssers.... yet arsene is a-ok even tho he doesnt even win? wtf? how is that fair?)

and of course, on sunday we saw what an arsene wenger team can do when they get over their usual mental midgetude and play at their peak level.... they absolutely decimated united playing some of the most beautiful football that many have seen in the prem in years and years, hell piers morgan called it the best 30mins of football he's seen in his whole life from arsenal. and what did chelsea do? 1-3 at home vs southampton? yeah welp hey now arsene might be a "specialist in failure" but people wanna have him at the helm of their club for 15-20/+ years..... jose would shock the world if he makes it to year 4 at any club, cuz to do it @ chelsea would mean his team went on that ~15 game WIN streak (NOT undefeated) and overtook a slumping city and not-quite-there arsenal/united to win an easy prem.... cuz while it's only 10pts on oct 5th, that means they have to be at least 11pts better than the #1 team in the prem from here on out which is what, 1 loss tops? maybe 2 losses if they only have 2 or 3 draws? it boggles th mind.

so yeah holy fuck TLDR TLDR TLDR..... but the jose mourinho experience is basically a deal with the devil to take a team on the cusp of winning things and to have them turned into a bus parking anti-football lot to try and grind out some silverware.... and jose does that.... but his methods of managing football teams are prolly the equivalent of his people skills and after a couple years of being an annoying troll who acts like god's gift to football by taking top-3-in-europe teams and forcing them to play cutthroat bus-parking anti-football all the while pissing off everyone to the point of hating him, yeap, once you get your silverware haul and think that he's peaked with his team that's when you start looking for ways out cuz who the hell is gonna wanna spend 10-20+ years with jose mourinho over there cunting up a storm?

and of course, you know jose REALLY wanted to go to manchester united after SAF and start rattling off a bunch of silverware with a team built by SAF and pimped out by jose, and then he figured since they're manutd he could stick around and be a dictator there and maybe he'd get his 10-15+ year run at a club and if he was able to be a consistent winner he could have people start to say he was even better than SAF, cuz at the end of the day jose wants his due as the best football manager in the history of the world.... proven winner with a track record of the highest successes at multiple locations.... but of course, it's all smoke and mirrors and anti-football bus parking and media mindgames and so much bullshit that once teams get a trophy or two or three or 4 with him after a year or two that's pretty much enough for him, and if he can't get out to a better job after year 2 he'll crash and burn in his own way (cuz even tho 12-13 wasn't entirely horrible for RM jose still called it the worst season of his managing career cuz the stars of RM were sick of his shit and in the end he wanted RM to say NO JOSE THE PLAYERS CAN GO YOU'RE THE SPECIAL ONE WHO MAKES RM GREAT SO WE'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT CUZ YOU ARE THE MOST PERSON HERE!!!!!!!!! but in reality people aren't buying shirts with MOURINHO/1 on the back of them, they're buying kits with RONALDO/7 on the back of them, and seeing as they won the CL the year after jose left (and LA DECIMA!!! at that) --- yeap, jose wasn't as special as the players he tried to make his bitch.... and you know that kills him.

so basically yeah, after chelsea i reckon jose will have to take a job that's a step down from a top 3/5 club in europe/world and once again prove that he can come in and anti-football his way to the highest heights like he did @ porto..... cuz i can't see buyern or especially barca taking him on, can you?" juve? who's left? man united wouldn't take him if LvG fails would they? hell if mourinho was available would liverpool take him over kult kloppo?

or hell, maybe a national team is next for jose.... that would work, cuz he'll have his ready made all-star-team and he can anti-football his way to a euro/WC.... maybe england would take him on after the woy experience ends cuz they're sure as hell not gonna go out with top english talent and go outplay the world's best sides @ football, so maybe jose comes in and anti-footballs his way to some sort of international glory?

yeah i reckon that's his next stop after chelsea.... how about england? that'd make him the kind of loveable legend for life he's always wanted to be.... win the 2018 WC or euro2020 or even 2022 WC with england and he'll be the kind of legend for life that he's always wanted to be.... he'll be that SAF type that he always wanted to be, and of course he'll finally get one over on wenger because wenger is the antithesis of all things ho-say because he has the kind of love that all the winning in the world can't get ho-say, and in the end that's what he wants.... he just wants to be loved by a huge fanbase as the #1/ish legandary coach for the rest of time, so that's why i think he ultimately takes over england and tries to immortalize himself as "the special one" in his adopted country.

or if he really has a pair of balls and wants to be the super-mega-uber-ultra-legend that would transcend england, go win the world cup with the USA. he'd never do that cuz he couldnt walk in and have a world class side by defauly, but if he won a WC here it'd be even bigger than england IMO, espcially in this new age where ESPN routinely shows euro football scores on the bottomline ticker.

soooo yeah super TLDR but JOSE FOR ENGLAND BY 2018 thank you and good night and good luck!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 8:31 pm 
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Jose is a giant tool and I hope he fucks off to the A League or something.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 10:13 pm 
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whoa sorry about that TLDR b4 as i had gotten into a few newcastls and yeah.... yeargh.

but hey daily mail seems to be saying that kult kloppo is gonna get 3yrs at liverpool like htat bosnian paper was reporting b4 the liverpool/everton game. obviously they gotta keep up appearances that they didnt work out a deal for klopp while rodgers was still under contract, but damn man that's a good get for liverpool..... the "kult kloppo" thing is big in germany cuz if you google it bild.de loves to brandish it in articles, but some people think he's the ultimate "meme" manager who is gonna fall flat on his face wherever he goes and he's not gonna turn around another side in a tougher league with a midtable mentality up against the big-4 of the PL..... you know hes not gonna get top tier cheap young german talent that buyern doesnt have room on the first team roster for....

...but most people think he's a fantastic hire and he's going to be a step back in the right direction from liverpool doing that thing where they said they're not gonna do a spurs and then they did a spurs.... if they can start getting marquee players who wanna come and play for kult kloppo while spending ~300mil+ in the next 4-5yrs and they do it wisely..... man, if england loses that 4th CL slot to italy given the sucktitude of england in the EL/CL over the last few years and you have a run of years where england has only 3 CL slots and liverpool is back on their grizzly while united hangs around top-4/ish and then you've got city and chelsea always there and arsenal..... man oh man this could get to be pretty nasty.

ppl on redcafe.net (a really good man united msgboard) were legit sad brenton was leaving liverpool on the same day arsenal junked them like "man how could this weeknd get any worse?" -=--- c'est la vie

good get, scousers, good get indeed. klopp prolly has the most "no homo" exceptions out of any football manager in the world for a reason, and it's cuz the guy is pretty much a rockstar manager for better or worse. this is prolly a really really good thing for liverpool going forward and FAWKKKKKKKK i liked it when they were comfortably midtable after 13-14 =/

so say it with me scouser brethern.... WE REUS NOW?

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 10:17 pm 
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Zizou wrote:
BREAKING: It is no longer LIverpool's year. Until next August...YNWA.


yeah about that...... if klopp can get bigger names to come in and liverpool seems to have the $$$ to spend.... well fuck.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 06, 2015 4:10 pm 
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Klopp to the Kop! Might be our year again. I wonder if he fully understands the dumpster fire he is signing up for. LFC needs to part ways with eternal milquetoast Ian Ayre as well.

Mou got the dreaded vote of confidence today. If he goes, I agree with kissrules in thinking that Don Carlo the Eyebrow will return.

Lips, I actually watched the whole Arsenal match. They looked like world beaters. This could be the year...

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 06, 2015 4:28 pm 
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Obviously you're all forgetting about 4th placed Palace. Last year they had 15 points after 18 games instead of after 8 games this year. Makes me suspicious.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 06, 2015 4:46 pm 
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KDdidit wrote:
Obviously you're all forgetting about 4th placed Palace. Last year they had 15 points after 18 games instead of after 8 games this year. Makes me suspicious.

their GF is not so good, aye?

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 9:07 pm 
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welp, it's official....

Image

if you're up at 4am i guess you can catch the press conference, tho i'm sure the clips will be everywhere all loaded up in those stupid little flash video players that automatically start playing whenever you scroll by them on certain UK/euro websites (daily mail i'm looking at you)

i guess we'll find out how good klopp is and we'll also find out how deep the rot runs @ liverpool/FSG (transfer committes, etc) to see if this guy can step in and get them up from perennial-midtable back to regular top-4 stuff. LFC always fancies themselves "a big club" and they certainly have their cultish thing going on, so having kult-kloppo over there is gonna make them way more interesting now that they got rid of the muppet..... and god bless his soul man. brenton rodgers was the gift that keeps on giving whether it's "joe allen = welsh xavi" or OUTSTANDING displays of SHOWING A LOT OF CHARACTER. yeah BR loved to say outstanding and i'm sure you can find those supercut videos.

idk if this will be the impetus for liverpool regaining their place up in/near "the big 4" of the PL, cuz b4 the rises of chelsea/city they were clearly part of that big 4 even tho they havent won a title in, what, ~20yrs? welp suffice to say shit just got more interesting and it's gonna be that much more !!! to watch one way or another.... well done scousers!

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 9:27 pm 
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A TRIBUTE TO BRENTON RODGERS:

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and of course, for everyone who's seen being liverpool or at least knows about the envelopes [drum roll]

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 9:45 pm 
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I just can't get past how cheap Liverpool look with New Balance as the kit maker. It's like Walter Payton repping Roos. At least with Warrior you thought, hey it's this new up and coming brand, maybe they'll be the next UA. With New Balance you think, didn't they go out of business in the 80s? There's hope though since Citeh rocked Le Coq Sportif in recent memory.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 9:56 pm 
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KDdidit wrote:
I just can't get past how cheap Liverpool look with New Balance as the kit maker. It's like Walter Payton repping Roos. At least with Warrior you thought, hey it's this new up and coming brand, maybe they'll be the next UA. With New Balance you think, didn't they go out of business in the 80s? There's hope though since Citeh rocked Le Coq Sportif in recent memory.


IIRC new balance always owned warrior so it was just an attempt to market some of their sporting stuff as AGGRO!!!!$#@! i loved seeing scouser players on the pitch in their ugly mustard uniforms with that little W/WARRIOR logo like they're committed to some higher cause and etc.

in the wake of the general consensus of klopp going to liverpool (especially to replace brenton) being "oh shit", somebody on redcafe offered up a glimmer of hope in saying that at least now you figure the scousers are gonna be extra chest thumping and IT'S ON!!!! WE GO AGAIN!!!!! way way more now that they have klopp and the potential for entertaining scouser delusion just went up almost infinitely.... of course, if liverpool 1) has $$$ and 2) will spend $$$ and 3) now has klopp involved to help them spend that $$$ more wisely because 4) he can attract more marquee names, man, especially in the wake of that 4th british CL spot potentially going over to italy, shit could get really really interesting going forward. of course city and chelsea are always going to spend, united's seemingly all about joining them in spending WHATEVER IT TAKES (martial looks very promising indeed but holy shit did they have to pay for him) that's going to set things up to be crazy, and a resurgent liverpool means that i dont think arsene can have too many more summer transfer windows like this summer, even if theo ends up being a relevation at striker. c'est la vie, no?

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 09, 2015 12:17 am 
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Yeah, they do own them. Warrior just looks cooler than new balance. And I can tell you it's not because of advertising because I've never seen ads for any of them.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 09, 2015 12:31 am 
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KDdidit wrote:
Yeah, they do own them. Warrior just looks cooler than new balance. And I can tell you it's not because of advertising because I've never seen ads for any of them.


lol dude they were advertising the brand on liverpool's kits! =D

i found it amusing that warrior was an american brand on a UK football team's kit and i had never seen or heard of warrior b4 seeing them on liverpool. ah well, regardless it's not gonna be too much of a big deal unless they re-sign with LFC for manutd type kit $$$ (cuz adidas gives manutd stupid crazy $$$ that overshadows everyone, even RM/barca) cuz as much as i hate to admit it, i fear liverpool getting pretty good if they're able to attract bigger/better names/players and they have the $$$ to spend on them. arsenal ending up top-4 by default has been a nice thing for them, now they're likely gonna have to earn it that much more!

speaking of, if ramsey gets the goal he shoulda got vs LFC then arsenal is co-top-of-the-table right now =/

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 09, 2015 11:57 am 
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I'm glad they got Klopp, since at least he has some pedigree and has won actual trophies. I thought Brendton was a muppet from day 1 and that Being Liverpool show confirmed it by unintentionally portraying him as a clown. His signings were about 90% pure shite. Guys who were just guys. I'm not expecting any miracles this season since Klopp is saddled with the Branden crap until January (and really only fools make huge transfer deals in January). Next year is our year. :alien: :drunken: :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 11, 2015 4:55 pm 
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soooo i think aguero is out for 6-8 weeks with, you guessed it, a hammy injury.... does this mean that arsenal/united/chelsea/LIVERPOOL?!!?! #YNWA #JFT96 should be on high alert that the prem is up for grabs?

paraphrasing KDdidit wrote:
don't forget that CP is in 4th


or will city still manage to do OK with bony (who i dont remember doing a goddamn thing since he went to city, tho he ran dzeko out of town? or uhhh.... man thank god dzeko isnt there cuz i kinda rate the guy) and hey even tho they had this horrible start chelsea is only 10 back and i mean, you know that's just 3 wins when city loses and then it's on.... tho i like the comfy zone that is subscribing to the "chelsea is done for this season" concept.

but yeah..... does aguero getting his annual hammy injury for 6-8 weeks have anyone here thinking that the prem is suddenly up for grabs (cuz without a fo-sho city-by-default thing in last year's chelsea-by-default slot, man, you gotta figure you could get a relatively surprise winner.... altho it surely COULDN'T be arsenal, right? THEY FLUBBED THE CL! LAUGH AT WONGA!!!! HAHAHAHHAHAH

no way does arsenal have a chance at this...... right?

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Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?


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